For every tenth episode (10, 20, 30, & 40) we’ll dive in deep with a member of our own Core4. This time, Ryan talks about his life and how our 4 pillars of masculinity developed for him. Here’s what he talks about:

• He grew up in the church
• Has lived in Northeast Ohio most of his life (Aurora) but lived in Kansas for 2 years and then ended up moving back to Aurora
• Went to Kent State University where he earned a degree in Computer Information Systems
• He’s held various jobs including marketing and advertising but has spent the majority of his career in IT
• Has worked for companies like Mustang Dynamometer, Aleris, Real Alloy, Omnova, and Synthomer
• Got his drive from early jobs, sports, learning discipline
• Talks about the influence of CLC (Christian Leadership Concepts) and mentorship from his boss, Mark Macioce
• Getting involved with CCC Stow, now Redemption Chapel, took him to another level in his walk with Christ
• He and his wife, Miranda became a Youth Ministry Coordinators for a short period of time
• Went on a mission trip to Roblealto in Costa Rica in 2016 and then led another in 2018
• Big events in his life: His cousin died of cancer, first wife walked out of marriage, he and Miranda went through 3 years of infertility
• All of those big life events led to an understanding of suffering and apologetics, which opened the door for conversations and empathy with others

Podcast Transcription:

Have you ever thought about making podcast with thought, probably too hard to get started. Couldnt be further from the truth when you use anchor. First of all, its free. So, check off box number one. It has easy-to-use, creation tools on your browser or your phone, Acura distributor podcast for you and you can make money. No matter how many listeners you have, it really is a One-Stop shop for all of your podcast knees. So stop delaying and download the free anchor app or go to Anchor. FM to get started. Were going to wear to cheer cigarettes Ryan, Sherry for the core for Life podcast number 10, just to Elijah. Craig, small batch Barrel proof 68%. Its got a good kick to it, but a good taste. Welcome back to the core for Life podcast, this episode number 10 and weve got a special one for everybody. Were, were taking a little step back and we just got the core for crew here. And were going to really use these tents episode. So 10, 20, 30, and 40 to interview each other, were start off with Ryan Sherry whos our fearless leader. Obviously, thats most important. So, might as well start with them. I mean, we would not have this podcast if it wasnt for the skills and Technical abilities of Ryan, and we appreciate him for that, we love him. And Ryan you are more deserving than any of us for this first quarter. Life episode. Thanks, man. True, but all the hard work so far has been done by Matt. Matt Murray from Good Burger. We can all agree, rhinestone, the most. We we all serve a purpose but yes, Ryan Ryan has been influential to getting this going. We appreciate him for that. Were we are glad to have him here as the the first one that were going to do a full interview on. So, we gave some backgrounds on us in the first episode of this one. Were going to, were going to die of a little bit deeper into. Who Ryan is his background, his family life, just what hes doing. Now, what was really shaped him. So well just, well just start their Ryan. I mean, just just give us some background on yourself and really, you know, how youve gotten to where youre at here today and then thats a super open-ended question. But yeah, I mean, I grew up in Ohio. Ive lived here almost my whole life and started out in Bedford Heights. Thats where my pair. And I lived and we went to Maple Heights, Methodist Church back then. So I grew up in the face and my dad was pretty active with the church. He did a lot of like contemporary Christian music in the beginning of the services, whereas traditional Methodist services are sing along to in Oregon. So it wasnt the most exciting for a, the to go to those places. But yeah, I grew up in the faith and when I was in kindergarten move to Aurora, so been then live there for a couple years and continued you know going to church and I went to school there. I when I grew up like went to primary school, went to elementary school and then for a couple years my dad got transferred. He had to get a new job. So we ended up living in Kansas for 2 years. I still retain some of that accent even though. Like barely lived there for two years, known you for a while and new information, not know that, youre learning something new to live there for two years actually during the Missouri flood of 93 and 94. So I dont know if you remember that but Im not familiar. So live there, for two years, came back to Aurora actually. So live there or before went to Kansas for two years lived in Aurora GHIN so it was awkward coming back to school. After being gone for two years and people are like, uh, your back. Why are you? So we were rid of you. But okay that had kind of Gone by the wayside during those two years that was interesting to church went to Parkside for a long time. Again my dad was active doing lights and stuff for Parkside and Theyre all the time. I was up in the catwalk, like, walking along the lights and just grew up in the church. And then from there, lets see. Graduated from Aurora High School. I dont know how deep are going to get into all this stuff but get super deep Super Dave. In your dad, play Blues, guitar, played instruments. Im the one that got you into in the music and your, your Baseline. Now. So he actually picked up bass playing after I started playing music, you got him in the van. So I I got a guitar secondhand from my cousin back when I was probably, like, 14, something like that and taught myself to play guitar and an old Kramer, sounds like a 80s. Like classic rock. Guitar is awesome. Had a crack neck, but it was still cool. So its not myself out. A plan on that asked for a base for Christmas one year and That and tell myself that and my Dad decided, it was pretty cool. So hes always want to play a guitar, so he picked it up and hes been playing bass ever since ya. Nobody in my family is really musically gifted. I wouldnt say Im especially musically gifted that and then I graduated from Aurora, High School went right into Kent State University got my degree in computer information systems so its been 4 years. There always live in at home, never lived on campus. So I was Angie an interesting experience did that then graduated got my first job right out of school at Mustang dynamometer, which is a Performance Automotive testing company. So if youve been to each Act and youve seen those spin the wheel things on the ground there, Dynamometer. Now, you know this, she learned all kinds of new things but I work at their how much horsepower run the engine to get emissions. Whats the highest horsepower you ever seen? Highest horsepower driven would be a Mustang Shelby. Shelby Mustang, I got to drive it on the dyno when we were in a trade show and PRI in Orlando, Florida. So we took, we had a drag racing Dyno set up, so two of them right next to each other, but the cars up there and we got to basically its been up the engine dump, the clutch, and tear off. I was pretty awesome. So awesome. So that was 7:50 I think at the wheels at the Shelby still like the Gone in 60 Seconds. Eleanor has Nicolas Cage Its a Nokia real butts on something could be nice to drive, but the highest horsepower Ive seen on a Dyno was a Corvette that was super souped up again, it was at the trade show and somebody brought his car there and hes like having me throw it on the dyno, like see what it does. He like you guys, can I have a show or whatever? Bring people to watch one up his car up next. Couple days, if you wants to stay at the stock bet thats nice, but then he, he takes it off. Hes like, Im just going to do a timing adjustment. Im just going to just change the timing on the computer, but sit back up there, its like 1300 horsepower and then it folds the sheet metal thats holding the strap that thats holding the vehicle. So we had that we had to take that up. Yeah, yeah. I was ridiculous of it but, you know, interesting show for us when I was working at Mustang and I was doing web development for them. And then I went to Key Bank for, like, 6 months. And I did, this is like the worst title ever has database marketing campaign developer. So I remember KeyBank had those free iPods, like you sign up for a checking account and they have free iPods. You dont remember, I dont know. Well, so they did that for the business side to like business banking. So I was in charge of figuring out who qualified to get the iPod from the business banking side. So just run these database queries all day on these like old Legacy database systems, which obviously you guys just your eyes, just rolled back in your head. So, I mean, thats a big part of that and thats a big part of my life. I did that for six months and I hated it. I drove downtown Cleveland everyday, paid for parking and just the was not my ideal job situation. So, when I heard that my previous company was looking for somebody again and they wanted me back. Im like, okay, so they brought me back. I became Marketing Manager for Mustang. Again did that for 2s years. I ran the trade shows instead of just going to them and doing web development. I ran the trade shows or an art print advertisements ran social media app. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of stuff early so shell be a nun and did you know everything everything advertised me? So work there till 2011 went to aleris which is an aluminum company. Did more web development, SharePoint Office 365, all that kind of stuff. Let me to real alloy. And then that led me to on Nova and now Im at Santa Maria which is a chemical company that I do, basically the same thing, Office 365 Administration, it tech support it help desk the computer engineering degree in computer information systems, which is a technicality cuz Computer Engineering is more like programming motherboards and Technical father boards in the grandfather and the grandmother boards. But computer information systems is more of a broad it degree. So I got networking, I got there, the best, I got programming, I got all that kind of stuff, so I just, I knew, I want to do computers, and I knew that that was kind of my key to a lot of different fields. So I went down and I minored in marketing, which is how I ended up with the marketing job. So it helps with my web development presents. So, somebody was looking to go the I tear out and you said, youre going to give yourself twenty-year-old you of recommendation or somebodys in college now. Yeah. Would you recommend going to the same route you went to, to get to where youre at today? Or do you? How is that is something different? I would say, skip college, but the majority of what I do. Now I learned on the job. I think thats the case with a lot of I want to come Industries and a lot of professions but especially our team cuz you never have a situation where you like. Oh, let me go. Open the book and find out how we handle this. Its always. Lets see whats broken and lets see how we can fix it. So, if you have a passion for computers, if you have a passion for it, Id say just dive in like learn stuff on your own. Like I learned the TV. Net in college, which is a programming language but then I stopped myself seven or eight different languages after that. And we are just having that basis allows you to get into whatever type of Technology you want to. So I have gotten hired without a degree internships or something like that but then get certifications. So certification a long way and it Microsoft certified especially for Office 365, Microsoft 365, big is huge and you can get any type of 4 South certification or other type of, i t, certification save the money. May be great background on. Have you come to where youre at today in your in your job and your business world and you are super talented but lets lets talk about what the what the listeners really want to hear about. Cuz you are you are very talented. You, we all know that youve gotten this podcast set up. You got in social media setup, youve youve helped us out with pretty much everything weve got going here and you are obviously a very talented individual, but you know who are you really like, how you are very driven. You are, youre just, youre an awesome guy. Im glad to call you my friend. I just want, I want the listeners to know, really how you gotten to be, who you are, and what drives you, whats gotten you to that fool in your life, thats really gotten you focused in the right direction. Give us some of the deep Stuff that really gets you to who really Ryan Sherry is all right. See you at the drive stuff for now the be driven being driven and very soon. I mean I think the bulk of it youre having that having that drive that personal drive to get up in the morning and go work out to get up and spend a couple hours digging into code and stuff like that, it falls back to you when I started my kind of working career. I guess so in high school like I wanted to know just be the beat high school over my dad and my mom are like now you got to got to go get a job. So when I turned 14, Like okay, you get a job and youre going to start paying for some stuff. And so having that kind of Forest Drive. Ive always been a procrastinator, like I dont know if I never want to do the projects, I always did him last minute and my parents hated that because they out there was like a serious, but I also kind of hated school. So Im having that drive on a job where I knew that I was responsible for something, you know, how small it was my first job as a bellhop at the Four Seasons Hotel know that Six Flags hotel in Aurora. So yeah, I help people with their bags and I ran the little tiny arcade that was there so it was pretty awesome and 14 my Dad drop me off every shift and yeah, I was responsible to be on time he would leave without me if I wasnt ready. Youre just having that drive to get myself ready and have that self-reliance and I can send you kind of threw out my growing years. As I went from that job. Then I got a job at Aurora Country Club. I was a greens keeper kind of young maintenance guy, so I mowed the teas in the mornings and I mowed the greens and had to be there at 5:30. So its just obviously that wasnt during school during high school, but that was during the summer, I spent my days. I thought it would be awesome because they offered free golf on Mondays after 2:30 when youre done with your shift. And I never ever played because I was always so tired from mowing the greens and rake in the traps and doing all that kind of stuff. I never got to drive the cool, no, big mowers, that mode Fairways or friends or anything like that, but I did get that experience. And a lot of weed eater experience which was thats critical in life. So, I think those first jobs really kind of set the tone because I had the responsibility to get there, I had the responsibility to be there at 5:30. I just took it and internalized. It and realize that my parents are going to bail me out. Like I was in this, on my own. I mean, they would support me, but they were going to say its fine, dont go or whatever. Id had to come up with that drive, and come up with that commitment to actually go to work and do it. And I think thats played out throughout my career, throughout my life, now, that drive. And then, I think Sports also played a big part in it too. I didnt mention you out the sports that played, but I played baseball hockey and golf in high school, and a little bit in college. But yeah, my, my main one was hockey, and I still play that today. I kind of dropped off on the baseball, havent played that in a while and I kind of lost some of the golf skill as well, cuz Took several years off of that, but I still hit the ball pretty well. Dont listen to him there. Ryan when he wants to, he can smack that ball about 350 yards so I can hit it. Okay, yeah, but the drive to perform while theyre also played into it. sweet thing for kids grown up today, then Did you get an allowance to? Yeah, I got an allowance like free work, but then I did not get an allowance. What you started working at once. At once I started working back, then that was my allowance. Essentially, are you going to keep that same pattern? You think for your kids here? I dont know. Ive been debating that like, yeah, thats something that weve been talking about is starting to get the kids doing chores and doing stuff around the house, which date love to do right now. Its just, they are great at it. So I think well probably head towards some sort of allowance when I did it. Or when my parents did it for me, it was always based on. Did you get your chores done nearby Sunday? Yes. Or no. Then you got paid or you didnt get paid to get like a week to get it done. Like that stuff. You got to do Sunday. Lets check in to do it. Yes or no? I did it. Yeah, probably Saturday night or Sunday morning. Procrastination. You guys have no idea how to make a responsible, like waiting until theyre ready and having them go out and get a job and see how it feels to earn that money. Is that the best way to do it? And I think theres a lot of different ways you can go about it. But obviously what you did or said we can all agree, youre one of the most driven guys that we know and then that comes through, I think some people have more internally driven and then obviously the way that you raised plays a decent role in that as well too. So yeah, I hear the background and and know that you did go out and you or youre grinding away from that from the early years. So yeah. I think since I think, I dont know if its an internal drive in me or its an internal desire to please people like thats another part of my personality, like I would never want to do anything that would upset my parents. Like that was just right? I was who I was like, I wasnt out. Can I wasnt a party? And I was not doing any of that stuff and it was all I know if it was fear, just like, I didnt want to upset the apple cart. Like, I dont know what, actually plays into that. I mean, we could probably talk to a psychologist or something like that, though, figure that out real quick, but you have said, but speaking of that, we will get deeper here in a minute, but were talkin about the be driven aspect of it for our listeners. Hear what are some of the, some of the books or podcasts, or different development resources that you have dove into that have helped with that drive of yours and help you develop throughout your years. I think a lot of it for me is Ben mentorship instead of like specifically looking at resources, like, not gas or anything like that, cuz I dont, I dont listen to a ton of podcasts. You listen to, I only listen to it when its okay. I mean its great cuz I hear it when we were talking and its awesome. But yeah, its like, I like, Ive done a lot of like Christian developmental reading and CLC. Like that was a huge developmental, milestone cuz we walk through life together for 2 years and we tackle this content that was challenging. And thats why I already know me quite a bit cuz we went through CLC together. But Matt, now hes learning all kinds of stuff right now. Im just listening so conditioned right now a little bit more just as a listeners do Oh, you got it. You got a good question. But yeah, it has been big for me specifically on my current boss. Mark Messier go see. Ive been an employee of his since 2011 on and off. So I am at him at Alaris and yeah he kind of saw me as more of a web developer more than a web developer. So you got me into some business face and rolls like with the Erp software that runs the business and got me out in a project management role, that kind of stuff and brought me kind of out of the just, it help desk level and that brought me forward and move on. Did multiple project management roles went took the lean. Six Sigma Black Belt course but did not complete my project before I left real Ally. So I dont officially have my black belt but yeah. Im saving up enough money to actually called you. I did which is, which is odd on a project to project. But yeah so yeah just having that mentorship and I was fortunate that my boss actually you had an interest in my career Hanish than me and he still does he still supports me and I feel like she has my best interest it in mind but I think finding somebody like that even if its not in your own company or in your own your boss or anything like that. Just finding somebody who has that kind, I drive for you on the business side but also, you know, a group of guys who you can talk to about life issues that I think, obviously, were our core for. We, we have allowed a chance about life. You have a chance. I want to talk about things that are going on our lives, but I think shell see kind of solidified that for me, finding those poor people and that friendship Is Andrew with my crew out of that and then you obviously this matter weve been poor for for a long time now. So those type of maybe not mentorships but brotherhoods I havent drunk or four would be would be going to help you guys and thats something that will talk about in future podcast also and in future blog post is how to get that going. Have you have you been able to pay that for a little bit? But do you have anyone in mind or anyone that your building into because I feel like thats thats going to be a cool phase. When you know you have your Mentor is above, you have your brothers that are side to side and then to be able to reach down and help someone else get to that point. Where youre at. I look forward to that you know several interns over the course of my career and youll try to stay in touch with them as much as possible and feed into them as much as I can while theyre with me. So thats been fun. And then I have in Play now that hopefully were building some not only work experience, but also a life experience and just care. Theyre building a friendship cuz that like thats something I took away from the best bosses that Ive had over the years. Its not, its not just a employee, its not a number, its a person. So taking that and investing in that person as opposed to just caring about how theyre progressing in their work career or in their performance or anything like that. Its investing in them as a person so they can take that with them. I think Ryan, youre a natural leader. You definitely first, with example, and I, which I think is critical to. Can I bend it over to the fitness side? Real quick, we weve been working out together core four for a couple years now. Ryan thought that wasnt enough and had to start. Working out some guys at his work. So theyve got a gym at their office and Ryans taking some of the stuff weve done here. And actually started working out with guys in his office tell fluid about how that happened. Yeah, I mean there was a, it was a point when I was working out 5 days a week and I was waiting for like the kind of work we do. So stick, man, but you have it. So I started talking to these guys at work. Im like, yeah, we work out in the garage in the morning, do all this stuff CrossFit type stuff obviously not cross it cuz thats copyrighted, but those type of function of Fitness high intensity interval training. I dont think I could do that. Im like, yeah, you could do it. Like, if I started doing it, like, I was in terrible shape. Matt and I were talking on that Monday with Michael about when I did my first clean and if we had decent weight on there and it didnt matter. Ryan just reverse curl that cuz Ryan is Ryan is thick like we said, he is strong like farmer strong picks, things up off the ground and presses things over his head with no problem at all. Its the thickness man. Thats what comes into play. Yeah you asked me to run a mile. But yes I can do it. Then you can do it Nike and so I Had one guy was really interested and, you know, hes still interested. Although during the quarantine, obviously we havent worked out together and 3 months. So its been a little rough there, but started doing pull-ups with him and show him how to do a Kipping pull-ups with that, which I just learned, no not that long ago, the teaching him how to do those kinds of things. And I just seen him him improve his been really cool cuz he he went from not being able to do one, pull up to being able to do like 12, Kipping, pull-ups in a row. And I and yeah, I just instead of instead of saying, yeah, I could just not working out because Im working out three times a week with my friends in Matts Garage even though these guys were interested in working out, Id be like night. Ill give you some workouts, you can do. I thought it would be better to actually come alongside them and kind of help them with their Start out with one, dude. Another guy was interested. And then another guy came in, and weve had up to six people down there to do it. You know, we, we talked about your drive and a little bit about your Fitness throughout to the days, he Maybe This falls into the line of be Noble for our pillar, but you are also have a very servant heart. I feel like, you know, we we all go to the same church, Redemption chapel and Ryan is the type of guy that if you if you ask him or even if you dont ask him, hes the type of guy thats going to step up and hes going to put himself out there and be ready to serve and it in whatever area it is, you know before we get into some of those areas and things that youre doing right now, you know what has really developed That heart of yours. What are some of those life experiences that youve had that have got you to the point of feel like, you know, hey my job here on Earth is not to just be happy and to be successful, its to serve and to portray the name of Jesus. You know, that I feel like its a big thing in your life. So what what has gotten you to that point? What are some of those life experiences that have gotten you to feel like that is kind of part of your calling here, too? Thats a tough question. Thats a good one. Im here to ask those deep open ended questions to answer. I dont think it was always a drive, like I think you even growing up in the church and the kind of being a Christian by name alone for a long time. That didnt always have that heart for other people. I didnt always have that drive to do things that werent just for me. Obviously, the selfishness is still something that I battle, and I think everybody struggles with. Just putting yourself first. Then honestly coming to what used to be Christ, Community Chapel, Hudson campus, or do campus and, and is now Redemption Chapel like that. Thats the kind of beginning of my new Awakening. I would say. So, we went one of the first week that we went was at the Block and it was student Ministry Sunday and It was like nothing that ran and I ran my wife had ever seen her like this is crazy. Like these kids are leading worship, their wealth welcoming us. Theyre yelling at us as we were leaving and coming in and like, this is awesome. Like we want to be a part of this. And so like we felt that when we got there and we felt that from the whole congregation and just hearing people stories, I think they also played like the Carters story, like one of the first week. So, we were there where they ended up bringing JoJos parents, and then Lindsays parents, and youll just having this whole group of people that were there in like man theres something special about this place and yo having not like I knew the Bible I knew all the stories I knew all that stuff but I didnt really internalize it until we started coming to Christ Community and now Redemption. And thats when we start to take enough sleep. So we went student Ministry Sunday, like man, we got to get involved with this. Im not a huge kid person but like teenagers like I can get him to like me. I can have conversations with those people and like not feel awkward talking to a small child so Im like yeah I can work with soon as I can work with porch. I can work with the edge that kind of stuff and so we talk to talk to Rick talk to Joan at the time and theyre like, oh yeah we need we need a youth youth coordinator like a youth ministry coordinator and Brandon are like yeah, sure will do that stuff eventually. So we looked at speakers, we had thoughts and come and talk about campus Crusade and had a couple other people, and talk and rearrange. Advance and so not too long. After that after we jumped into that role, then Austin McCann. Are you owe student Ministries leader? Came to the church. Hes now an associate pastor at Redemption, but I will probably have on the podcast, maybe at some point, but maybe he came. He came to the Henry like hes like all right. Now hand over your whatever you have another guy. Theres nothing for a little while. But yeah. So we ended up having The block wasnt available on Thursday nights for porch, switches are high school Ministry and we ended up having all of the high schoolers over to our house. Every Thursday night for porch for like 3 months. I think, every Thursday night, they would come over the commitment right there, and they would just hang out in our house there. Play ping-pong, the play in the backyard cornhole, spikeball back then, as well with the panel on a racket Rack, in a feeding them before. They beat me like twice out of a hundred. I also almost popped your attitude Are you broke my eyeball? Yes, we can talk about that. Thats mostly your fault though, for the first couple months. Because, yeah, we moved into this house and were like this is too big has just us at the time so I can let you use it. To bless these kids have them over and play ping pong and darts and Hollis fun stuff and really fit into their lives and it was a good opportunity because we were out of the student Ministry position but we still got to interact with the kids and have that role in the in the Then their growth. So its fun and then just continuing growth in Sea Isle City. And like I said, was a big step which is Christian leadership Concepts, a two-year program where you have a group of 12, guys. It get real deep with life, in deep into the Bible and just learn a lot about each other and about life. And its really cool experience and if you havent done it and you for lifelong friendships and your brother-in-law decided to lead that group as well, save us. I think that was one of the main ways that we got to know. You first, you were allowed the first couple months of that you guys probably thought I was super like buttoned-up and like Dan. And I did the first two sections and then you guys did the third one, I think. And thats when it when I have friends. Really made it go. I mean of 12 guys that you knew one of them maybe before, and then just be the leader and be like, all right, lets go, lets take this thing and then figure out where to go. That was that was awesome. I feel like just the relationships that came out of that between me and Mike mad here later. But, but all the other guys that were in that group, I feel like I was, I was just an awesome experience for all of us to have a group of guys, that we could just get deep with be real with them and talk about our struggles and then what we can do to get better and hold each other accountable that. So I think that played in so much to what we want to do with this podcast for life in general. So now you definitely took a huge step with adding and a risk, you know, you dont know how thats all I was going to go, but if you like that aspect of leadership that stepped up and did it anyway. No, the s huge. Of growth for me and intentionally. Did that did the leadership role to push myself a little bit and really force myself to dive in and dig in deep and commit to that. So, it was probably didnt make it easy on you all the time, too. And I feel like thats why Im saying, like the first two sessions, we tried to keep it real by the book and answer all the questions go through everything. But then, I think that dropped off fairly quickly. I just got but, you know, before we move on and we continue to get deeper with Ryan Sherry here still getting deeper about this nobility. You you stepped into a role with Redemption 2, help lead some mission trips. Can you just tell us a little bit about what youve done there and how that impacted your life. Sure. So, I went on my first International mission trip in 2016 went to Roble Alto, which is a child home in Costa Rica and just really impacted me went with our church was not a leader, but just went and experienced it. It was a life-changing experience much like CLC, just seeing the kids. And like I said before, Im not a kid person. I am a kid person in Costa Rica. I just seeing what those kids come from and what theyve grown into and seeing the program thats going on down there and being able to invest a little bit of myself in that was a really cool experience. And so theyre organizing another chip Tripp in 2018. And they asked me, if I wouldnt mind leading the trip because our pastors work and be able to make it and they decided apparently I was capable of leading that trip? Or questionable and it just turned into an awesome experience another step out in faith kind of just cuz I had never had been on one international missions trip that it was really my only kind of missions trip experience and I just jumped into it. And again, I probably came off exit. I know I came off as super buttoned-up like wanting to do everything by the book. Go through six meetings together as a team before we head down to Costa Rica and like what we. We are finally down in Costa Rica. A couple of the team members came to us. Like, man, we thought you were going to be like super strict like during the trip. Im like, yeah, I guess I kind of I kind of gave it an impression while we were having our team meetings, but now its have some fun as the bald head cage fighter. So Im going to take like, thats the best compliment. Anyway, it just having that experience in being able to let the lead trips and wish I was supposed to leave another one that would have gone in June early, June this year. But due to the global pandemic, we are still in Ohio and were looking to reschedule that for hopefully either late this year or early next year for life. Missions trip and start to get some donation request out there, then we could arrange probably leave that. I dont do enough to know, were pumping you up, so you can continue to do more stuff for us. Thank you. I see thats what this whole drive and how youve been driven to where you are at today, your your Fitness, and how you got to where youre at today and your nobility and we can talk about be chill here in a little bit. We obviously, will Im not going to miss that. Obviously, before we get into that again I feel like were missing a little bit of the realness of who you are, okay, okay. Can we get a little bit deeper? Wake me up. What do you want to know you? Not a lot of people get to to where you are at, I mean, you are a very real person. Youre not willing to hide a lot of stuff with us. So lets let our listeners. Know, you know what, big life experiences, have you dealt with that have gotten you to where you are today. So, were going back to the fence post and CLC. Sure. Okay. Yeah. So I think one of the big things is one of the biggest things in my life, would be my cousin and his death. So in 2006, my cousin, who is 6 months younger than me, died of cancer and that was shaking for me. He was diagnosed less than two years before that. with a cancer that mostly only kids get and it was very rare for anybody over 18 to get it but he got it and it was Yeah, we was my side life, life shaking just seeing him, go through all the chemo and all the treatments and everything that happens with Dad just seeing him become a shell, of what he was. That was really, really difficult and definitely played a part in My life. I dont know how its impacted Me. Maybe made me a little bit more sensitive to those types of Things. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was for a long time. As I couldnt talk about it without crying, like, I think I cried about it during CLC, like, when I brought that out, it just, its a really, really tough thing for me. And that really, I think that brought me into apologetics a little bit cuz you get the question of evil. You get the question of suffering. Your why did that happened to my cousin? Didnt do anything wrong. He was just a 20 year old kid that got diagnosed with this terrible disease and then had to fight through it and had to suffer through that. Until ultimately, he died. Fighting with that question, for a long time. Brought me to a lot of different books about apologetics, a lot of different speakers about apologetics and Ive come to terms with that question of evil eye with the question of suffering. And I think thats something that a lot of people probably have questions about. Like I know a lot of people have questions about. I know that my dad personally has questions about it and its something that is not easy. Like its not its not an easy thing to think about it and I need anything to talk about and its not an easy thing to understand because we cant understand it. Ultimately I think one of the things that like we just had a sermon this past weekend about your car. Just want the best for me. I like things that God didnt actually say but that we think he said and our pastor Ricky kind of talked about that the problem of suffering, you know if if we love our kids and were good Fathers and were willing to let them suffer to grow. Then dont you think that our heavenly father would be even more? Youre willing to love us that much to let us go through this suffering. In order for us to grow that the trials are far, sanctification, not for our happiness, and thats something that has Been an integral part of my life and an integral part of understanding who God is. And you know, how he is, worked in my life and taking what happened with my cousin, Tom, and Letting it affect me. In that way that where I can talk about it or I can have conversations to people about it and hopefully impact other people in that direction. So thats one big thing. I think you all along that same line. I know what you want me to talk about it and I guess Ill probably talk about it. So Ive been married once before and you all through high school, I was married to my high-school sweetheart. We got married in 2006, which is the year that my cousin died. He was supposed to be the best man at my wedding. We moved the date up to try to make it to the. He could be there, but then he died before the wedding. And so having that empty Batman slot at my wedding was Quite a sad life experience you left. You left the spot empty in my best friend for never known since kindergarten. Yeah he did the speech and stuff but left the spot up there for Tom so yeah married high school sweetheart. And you know, we live in the living, the dream and bought a condo together in a dog and then she decided she wanted something else so she laughed and that left a huge impact on me. Thats that people-pleasing part of me that was completely thrown ask you and just didnt know what to do with myself. Wed been an 8 and 1/2 year relationship before that. So I was dating for all of high school and all of college and then soon as we got out, got married and it within a year-and-a-half, she decided she wanted out. So she left and you went through that whole thing and just wrecked me for Several months. Its just a real rough time. Real low time again, you know, cuz my cousin died the year we got married and then you and a half later wife leaves after 8 1/2 years of relationship, High School relationship, but still relationship and its just not good. But ultimately looking back at that, I can see that that led me back. Grudgingly to went back to the wipey, which is Young professionals at Chris me to Chapel and ultimately thats where I met Brenda, whos my wife? And so just seeing what that did in my life. Looking back at it. Now, I can see how God was working through that to Humble me to work on my, I guess intellectual understanding of God, a lot of people I think we can. We have this conversation with Joe a little bit talking about head versus heart, you know, how you come to Christ. And I think I was definitely had. I had to know. I had to know, specifically, you know why God allow suffering and had to know a lot of things. I had to know the veracity of the Resurrection, I had to know. All this kind of stuff that I dug into but I think that those situations soften my heart so that my head could accept the answers that I was getting. That makes any sense. I feel like when I can relate to you as far as growing up in the church and then at a certain point Did it switch for you? Where, you know, Im growing up in the church, I feel like you could come. Its more of an emotional connection and maybe some of the details dont matter as much. But later in life, when pain came, some of those questions became important and you digged into the house. Yeah. So I think when Growing up. It was a obligation to some degree cuz my parents went. So I was expected to go. So, it was religion out of obligation, but then the experience of the pain and the heartache and kind of the Brokenness. Took it from a religion to relationship, which is what we always talk about. How are you going to format relationship with God? And I think that that allowed me to be broken enough and willing enough to Listen to the things that my heart was telling me to actually have that relationship. So definite, definite. Of Brokenness. Definite. Of Now, thats just broken. Thats cuz before I was just skating through, you have skating through life, like drama Christian, I go to church sometimes and I kind of read the Bible little bit and I know all the stories and but its not that its not that relationship that it wasnt that Ryan, you guys have gone through a lot as weve talked about so far tonight. One of the things that youve gone through in your familys life journey is some infertility that youve dealt with and how thats really help you guys figure out things that are important to you and your life and dealing with all that. So I can, you tell us a little bit about that Journey that you guys went through. Yeah. So after we got married, Yo, we spend some time, just living living a married life and then you as most people do or like, right? I think were ready to have some kids. And yeah, we started. trying to have kids and You know, it just figured it wasnt happening for a while, I wasnt having it for a while and then we decided to go in and see if everything was. All right and found some stuff from endometriosis with Miranda and you dont got that cleared up and then the doctors like yeah theres no reason you should be able to get pregnant and so we went through a period where For three years, we were just trying to have kids and it was always that, you know, its not not working this time. Were seeing people around us, just having kids left and right. And thats kind of was a sore subject, you know, for us and our marriage cuz Miranda has always said that she wanted like 10 kids and Im like, yeah, two is good. And were almost halfway to her go. But yeah. So we we decided you after three years. We tried a couple of different less invasive methods. Theyre doing some hormone shots and stuff like that with Miranda. So you I had to actually give her shots quite a bit and went to the doctor to try to get everything where it needs to go. Intrauterine insemination. So tried that a couple times and nothing was working and the most frustrating part was that. Yeah, they couldnt give us an explanation as to why nothing was working. And also, just like I said, seeing everybody just having kids so easily and were sitting here and you havent gone through it. You dont understand like what? Yeah, and it was interesting because I wasnt sure if I was even ready to be a dad at that point, youve got made that decision for me. Pregnant so easily and it just felt like, man. Like what are we? What are we doing? What are we not doing? It was a really rough season in our relationship but I think we grew stronger with each other through that and looking back on it and ran has been able to share her story with a lot of different people. And just she can sense, like know if we talked to a couple its like out there their infernal, like she knows like right off the bat out by like the responses were talking about our kids. She can just go there. Something I have to talk to the to the woman in the relationship and youll just have that kind of hard to heart, which is awesome. Now but it was a huge struggle for her and for both of us as were going through It. Ultimately we decided after three years were going to do IVF and we did that and we had five embryos and three of them didnt make it. and we kind of only had like its an expensive expensive procedure so we didnt have a whole lot of chances available. So we took the two embryos that made it after the time. And transferred, both of them. And that is how we ended up with our twins. So they are boy-girl twins and their 6 and 1/2 years old a little bit older and now were kind of those annoying people who can get pregnant, really easy and we dont know what happened. Like yeah, weve heard all these things that you have. The body can fix itself after one pregnancy. Something happens in there that youre fixes stuff and were to the point where Yeah, the the the next two were all natural so didnt have to do any treatments or anything like that. So yeah were up to up to four kids and Im good relationship stronger. It made us rely on each other a lot more and it gave us the opportunity to talk to talk to other people about this. So I think in all the cases It sucks going through it sucked, losing, my cousin sucked. My first divorce sucked at first only divorce sucked and going through the infertility sucked. But having those things in our past having those things available to talk to other people about and to share hope and to share our experiences has no looking back at it. Youre like, okay, I mean thats thats what God had in mind. He wanted this to be in our life so we could talk to somebody else about it so we can guide somebody through and hes somebodys pain. Hopefully thats going through this kind of stuff right now. And I think A big part of the infertility is kind of what drove us to foster care to know. Just as we were considering our options thinking, we may never get pregnant and we started talking about adoption. We start talking about all this other stuff and do all that and kind of that the passion to help people who are displaced then, who, who dont have the ability to fend for themselves. Yeah, we decided to pick up the the foster care. Mantle. So yeah, we became foster parents and had a couple couple different experiences with that to we can get into that another podcast. But yeah I think I think just all those experiences have piled up and Worked to drive us in this direction, as a as a family, as a couple. And we have a heart for those who, like I said, cant help themselves who are struggling with these things and just pray that our story can impact somebody else in a positive way. Man, I appreciate you sharing all the information and going through that cuz I think they all of us deal with certain things like that. And Its its hard sometimes to express, what that does to you and what that means in your life. And that thats what brings people to that next point in their life, that gets them to that next level and I think thats what was missing in. A lot of people is that you do, they dont realize that those trials. And those tribulations that they go through, is what gets them to focus on what their purpose is in life. And I think youve gotten that. Yeah, I mean, I feel I feel closer to that like, I dont know, I dont know if I have the, the ultimate, your purpose for my life. I know that I want to live in a way that reflects Christ and do that to the best of my ability, but I hope Im moving in the direction. That does that go through my career, through my personal relationships through my activities and giving to church and all that kind of stuff, I hope its moving in that direction, but I think that, that is true that without those experiences, I wouldnt have been able to been able to share that with a couple different people who have been going through certain things that are that are similar and just having gone through that myself, being able to fully empathize. But Im not fantastic at empathy. Like being able to fully empathize and understand what people are going through has been. I hope really helpful for the people that Ive been able to talk to about it. Yeah, man. No, and we appreciate you sharing. And you know, again we the only thing we really have a touchdown here is the Beech Hill, pillar? We all know that we love to be chill. We love to hang out with each other. Were doing lots of lake house times and golf trips, and bourbon trails, and all that kind of stuff and will continue to show those things on social media and core for life.com. So, continue to check those out. But we appreciate Ryan being here with us tonight and sharing and getting deep with us and let you know a little bit more about him and who he is and how he has really gotten to be where he is today, and we appreciate that. Ryan, we love you. We we we love that, we can call you our friend and we can continue working with you here in the future. Thank you for sharing and we will wrap up another episode hero of War 4 Life. Thanks man. Thanks for checking out the core for Life podcast. If you like what youre hearing, why dont you tell a friend about us? Share a link for a podcast on social media or get in touch with us a tour for life or core for life.com. Thats core. Four life.com, catch you next time. Google for life.