Podcast Episode 19 – Jared Sylvester: Cancer Survivor and Miracle Dad


You do not get to hear stories this encouraging every day. Jared was diagnosed with osteosarcoma going into his Junior year of college. He shares his journey through his battle with cancer and how it has shaped him and his future.

Whiskey: Long Road Distillers (Grand Rapids, Michigan) – Straight American Whiskey

01:50 – Upbringing: Transition into college and radical spiritual growth leading up to diagnosis.

08:50 – Diagnosis: Pain in his knee to the point of crawling up the stairs. October 15th, 2010 diagnosis exactly 10 years from recording.

10:30 – Met with an orthopedic surgeon and receives devastating news.12:00 – Drive back to school and campus support.

12:45 – Osteosarcoma is found in less than 1% of adults and most common in adolescence.

16:30 – Ryder Brown Update

18:00 – “You’re going to give a year of your life to us, and then hopefully we’ll give you the rest of your life back.”

18:30 – Cancer treatment plan and limb-salvage surgery.

22:00 – Processing the diagnosis. What will life look like after cancer?

25:45 – Family impact. It takes a village and family impact.

28:40 – “What the world saw as the most destructive diagnosis, proved to be the most life-giving in my life.”

33:00 – Gospel “Good news”.

35:00 – Cancer takes things from you and gives things to you.  Attitude change and perspective changed.

37:45 – beFit – Golfing and biking.

40:00 – beChill – Buckeye fan and book recommendation.
Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering – Tim Keller
The Storm Light Archives – Brandon Sanderson
Amazing Grace – Eric Metaxas
Bonhoeffer – Eric Metaxas

44:00 – Building a family and miracle baby Lucy Michelle.

51:00 – Parting advice.

Podcast Transcription:

Have you ever thought about making podcast with thought, probably too hard to get started. Couldnt be further from the truth when you use anchor. First of all, its free. So, check off box number one. It has easy-to-use, creation tools on your browser or your phone, Acura distributor podcast for you and you can make money. No matter how many listeners you have, it really is a One-Stop shop for all of your podcast knees. So stop delaying and download the free anchor app or go to Anchor. FM to get started. Tonight were drinking a long road distillers. Straight American, whiskey out of Grand, Rapids, Michigan, Right charge American Oak for two years so its its okay. I think weve all had better but what is this song? Alright, welcome back to another core for Life podcast. This is Matt. Weve got another awesome guest for you today. My good friend, Jared, Sylvester Jared has an amazing story. These going to share with us today. Its a story filled of Joy Pain, fight and Faith with his battle with cancer. Weve all been touched by cancer in some way I think. Were all of our lives have been affected by it. Someone you know clothes and so you obviously Jared were right you know lived it and so we appreciate you being here, its going to be fun. Yeah, we met Jared over 10 years ago at Miami University, the beautiful campus in Oxford, Ohio. And we when we initially met I thought man, my first thought at least was I really like this guy? And my second thought was he kind of reminds me of myself, two years younger. You dont mind, just give us a little bit of your background. Growing up a little bit about kind of, who you were before your cancer battle. The guy that, you know, I met on Oxford campus. Yeah, crazy. Its been that long? Yeah, me and I grew up in Columbus, Ohio for kids, great family. Traditional American family is a sports kid. Athlete was pretty active, my whole life, played football in the Crossing, High School, thought about going and playing Collegiate level. But ultimately, end up at Miami and my mom went there was an alumni from there. My sister was actually there. Shes Matts here until its how I met that when I joined. Oxford campus. Oh yeah, we just grew up pretty traditional American home, right? And my priorities were sports sports and sports. So anyways you know as it is a kid growing up and lots of friends, you know, doing stuff every weekend. Pretty normal. But I would say what you do grown up in a Christian home, we really really involved in our church. My, my dad was an elder at the church that they helped start in our community. So really involved in that I never really adopted that face like as my own until college. So I kind of was the what I would I refer to as connect the spark plug believer. Can I do you know, getting recharged little Retreats or youth group conferences or whatever? And then just let it die out and kind of doing my own thing. So I would say when I was really pretty selfish in high school and a two-faced in terms of you do on on Sundays or Wednesday night, bible studies, I could turn it on. I knew that I could speak to Christian lingo and then yeah, I mean, I just really ultimately my senior year took a lot of pride in my identity and kind of my Athletics it. So like that was a really serious thing for us as a group of core, guys. Were best friends. You know, we had some goals to It went straight for the cross and stuff like that. So it was just a mess, just fun to to get in that mindset. But its just was distracting of what was really ultimately important until for me, yet entering Miami. That was my goal. Was, Ive seen my sister who was involved hipster, say, for Christ and was really best friends with Laura Matts wife. And I seen them grow and mature and their face and was like I kind of want to investigate. Im not saying I want it, but I want to see. Ive never given a shot. Im going to Im on my way to see if if I can do this and then when I met Matt, that was cool. My sister was like you got to hang out mad, you know, it was like theres no Christian dudes that play sports, that are normal. And Matt was the guy that normally Mattoon at the guy who had one hair down to the shoulder blades and rugby player. Ill do mine was longer than that because its kind of like a high and tight over here. Im at least you got some flow. Awesome. So you have an interesting story of how you found out. Once you go to penalties in the next step like 1 was it and got to kick it off. Yeah yeah I would say its a preface that I would say. You know, I did jump into my face at Miami that you know, it wasnt easy. It was up and down that first semester for sure, but I just ate and I did a lot of things in high school. Yeah, that just might I didnt feel like it would put me a morally compromising positions and I just didnt feel like I wanted to reproduce that in college. I want a different experience is so high. I really didnt drink at Miami really that much my freshman year did mess around real. I mean you just like you know I did a little bit was just like trying to avoid some of the situation so I jumped in church crusade in my face was to starting to ignite reading the Bible for first time really on my own praying. Im really kind of meeting with guys that are older wiser. Have an influence on my life. So Ill let to say you know freshman, sophomore year, super growing years, for me can exponentially it, you know, spiritual Greenhouse in terms of just being a Bible studies. I want to know if short-term Mission summer project with campus crusade in between my freshman and sophomore year and then again, sophomore to junior year. So You Got Me ii up at that point in my life would really radically changed, devoted towards the Lord as its an interesting time. Like you know, normally when you hear people say went off to college and I did X Y and Z there are great things right, but it sounds like you actually started. Make that turn in your life at that time. And you said, its just you didnt want to repeat some of the things that happened to high school with her other driving factors that or is just knew you had that wherewithal. I, I couldnt say in college, I had that I cant have them. Like, man, I need to fix what I did. Nice cool. But that thats cool that you had that recognition as you were making this huge step in your life. You have me. I think you obviously to me looking back and placing it on my heart, changing, my heart changing my mind and attitude, You do not that. I mean were all heathens it at different points in idle I definitely sent for me. I would just say my family was a huge influence and always has been towards my face and so watching my sister and even just being encouraged to have any more mature conversation is my parents not being fulfilled with things of this world that I explored in high school that at the time, seemed really awesome and you know, and Im still really close to a lot of my high school friends. Im just beyond have gone a little bit different trajectory since then and yeah, but I appreciate it. I would say the Lords timing and thats kind of the message of this whole story. You got to prefaced that introductory II thats key to me is that I dont know if Id be sitting here today if the Lord hadnt groom to me and grow and Brew my face and provided that like, you know, to three-year Foundation. Before the suffering that I injured, I think things could have turned out very differently. Tell my junior year of college twenty-one-year-old headed back to school. After I get my second summer mission project with cancer Crusade out on the Eastern Shore. And that year can at leading up to that point. I had, I had significant pain in my left knee but just, you know, kind of has an athlete just work through it, you know, this thing working out, basketball, leagues, whatever just stay. I, you know, on runs at my leg really hurts, just get through it. Pop, some Advil, or Tylenol or whatever, and dignified. And thats why I just kind of treated interest. I would never like seriously injured, thankfully modify. So I did that for a while and it eventually got to a point where its just too much to handle. So really the pain started probably a April of 2010, and I was diagnosed October 15th 2010, which is actually 10-year anniversary today. Wow, wow, you get to a point though. I was at you, no crawling up my stairs at the house, I was living in at Miami. My junior year, of course, I just been living with this pain for so long. Its kind of like all my leg really hurts. Let me crawl up. The stairs would like at a logical point in, in my stage of pain. In my roommate sees me hes like, what are you doing? Like my leg hurts needs like, dude, your leg hurts in a few to crawl up the stairs. Seems like you got to call your mom and just like, go to the doctor or something. So I would I can refuse. And then you like made me do it. I call my mom. I never call her about anyting painful and I never had an injury and so she knew is pretty serious. We went in, she got me in with our family friend whos a orthopedic surgeon. Close family friend, I went back that weekend he schedule an MRI and then he checked it out supposed to come back the following weekend which was fall break. And so he Share the news with us that night which we thought was just kind of a meniscus tear without it. We know at the worst it was like an ACL MCL arthritis. Maybe. But yeah, I mean it was. Yeah, I get that news. Its devastating. Not. So yeah, you never thinking that college kid, youre not thinking, never answer anything else. Theres nothing, not even, you know, its not even remotely in your in the stratosphere of thoughts, yet not even on the radar. So, yeah, it was, it was really interesting cuz I just want to Matt and Laura are gone from Miami and might as well as my sister. So theyre not letting us early on campus for this but I told a couple of friends, you know, that my knee has been hurting and Im going to go to the doctor, pray for me this week, right? Because I get to give me crutches that week. So the people like, whats it? Whats wrong with you? Like, I dont know. Ill find out so I was like, yeah. If you want to pray, pray, its a couple people praying for me. You can award a little bit got around probably more so than I thought cuz I was going to stretches do people like texting me over the weekend like, whats the news? You know. And so that was a Friday night was when I was diagnosed, I didnt respond to anybody. My sister and I get in the car. Weather on Sunday, drive back to Miami and just going to grab stuff from that. You know, cuz Im done with school that year. I mean, its like immediate, we got to get it in and get this thing trying to tell. You didnt see the doctors as soon as possible. And what was the diagnosis? What was the? It was osteosarcoma, says bone cancer. So osteosarcoma doesnt necessarily have like the staging like normal cancers would because its sarcomas themselves and you might be able to splice this and put it somewhere else as well bit like sarcoma in general. Theres more than 50 different types of Sir Thomas in all of sarcomas, make up less than 1% of all the types of cancers diagnosed every year in adult population. The Star Wars are more prevalent typically in your Adolescent and adult or got me. Like I would say, I think osteosarcoma is most common in like 12 to 15 year old males. About a thousand cases a year. So, yeah. Let me we just packed up the car from Miami and remembered. I texted like everybody that reached out to me, I was like, Hey show up at the church and Ill tell you whats going on until we get to the church and theres like 30 40 people cuz I kind of workout around you like, hey, I think theres something big happening and my, my sister and I had to tell everybody face-to-face and no idea whats going on but we cant turn it at. That says, you dont really know what those words are either. I mean, I remember being a doctor friends house at night on Friday night. and he was like you know hes like cancer chemotherapy you know and surgery and all these words Im like malignancy or you know and Im like Its kind of out-of-body experience. Like I know what those words mean by literally cant process right now. And I know this is not good but I I just dont know how to process this, so, its a lot. Yeah, theres a lot. The first first little bit. And a Jew like know anybody that had cancer. Probably not a sarcoma. I think like now it for me in college, I got home for sure is that I would have been a process that my training wife is an oncology nurse today so I bet all those things mean a lot more to me now, right? And they would have is a twenty-one-year-old. I had. There were only a couple instances with our family that they had like really short clips of cancer. It was nothing like major. So I didnt I would you know? I really never grew up with it. A couple people in our community that were pretty well known that had couple recurrences here and there. And so we kind of followed their stories and stuff but I am even think about 10 years ago and I know I keep on saying this and that the more testing that we do that the more technologically advanced Machinery that we have remember to find out more give me more diagnosis. So its just I mean I wasnt in on especially as were grown-up mean its just like I feel like we are all accustomed to this. Diagnosis were all custom to it in our personal lives or professional lives people that are close to us. Weve all had bad experiences with cancer, unfortunately. Now that you know, Im grown up, I really didnt. Yeah, I can come in, we can relate and we we we talked about a similar type of story with our son. And you know what, you can talk about all these terms and things that you dont dont ever know about or even try to think about until it hits your life. And thats like to clarify some of it cuz he actually does not have cancer and its not considered cancer. And so I just wanted to put that out there cuz its been said a couple times, but to clarify mean, yeah. He has a, it was a a brain tumor spinal tumor. It was disseminated, it can grow it. Can spread. Thats why hes on chemotherapy. But, you know, its crazy because it is actually not considered cancer because its because its the 9/9. Yeah. Yeah. Even though it grows. So its yeah, its weird. Like, you did when they told us, like its like dont even, dont even focus on that, like focus on the things that you need to do to get him better, you know, talkin about whether its We considered cancer or not, you know, but yeah, you just, you just dont know about that kind of stuff. And what really means what? But all we knew is that you needed to mediate mediate brain surgery, you needed to get it all out and going chemo. And hopefully, it doesnt grow. You know how, but how is he doing today? Hes doing great. Yeah, I miss you doing doing really well. Hes, hes on his second round of chemo but hes done really well with this one. So youll be on it for about 2 years and hes going to school doing well. Wow, thats amazing. So Woods was your was your surgery immediately that you had to get, though? My main surgery was not immediate so they did a biopsy immediately. Yes, it was Friday, was diagnosed Tuesday. I was in with the main surgeon and oncology unit, so they told us that you dont match everything out. So what what that map you look like was he youre going to give a year of your life to us and you dont hopefully well give you the rest of your life back. and, you know, it was, you know, biopsy 10 weeks of chemotherapy And then what the goal of that chemotherapy is I want to see if the cancer has reduced by anything. So they see the Cancers there. They want to see from the biopsy with the potency is of it, you know what the pathology is. And then from that chemotherapy that for 10 weeks are going to hit it with something really hard, try to kill it and see how well your body responds to it until being a young. Pretty decently in shape male. They said were going to give you the full dosage and you know, thats the best opportunity have to kill it. So they went full-blown, you know chemotherapy for 10 weeks sweet at 6 rounds in this 10 weeks, you got a couple of breaks and then after that I get I did the main big huge surgery on my left leg, you dont take half my femur out all of my knee out up to mid thigh and put a implant from mid femur down to metivier with the complete, you know, total total in Salvage surgery. Its actually an opportunity to do. You should look it up but rotationplasty surgery is one of the options, my surgery, my surgeon helped invent it but its the its a place where I have the metal where I should you guys at so that picture. So mid thigh to Mid Shin, if you remove that and you take whats left below that. So shes into toes through the ankle and toes and you take that piece up rotated, around your ankle becomes your knee and its flax. So your foot is backwards and they fit into an if you know prosthetic. And that, you know, thats one of yall decide theres three options that what I got, which is the most cosmetically, you know. No. One really can tell, I cant run, not physically able anymore but that to that one or, you know, if you Tatian like kind of full at the hip or the rotationplasty, which is amazing. Wow, thats great. Just the way youre describing that thats like, its a, its a, why would they, why would they choose the different ones? I mean, is it based on the person based on the circumstance? What they would want to do with their future? I mean, what are you all those things? Yep. So usually the rotationplasty is performed on kids, or you know, young. They all sit still have not going to live that life of activity or, right? So they say, Yes, I can. Technically can run. They dont advise it, cuz it wears and tears. And eventually if she wear and tear too much, you would have to get an invitation. But the if the full can at the hip amputation, takes about 70% effort, 70% more effort than kind of the normal with. You know, if you didnt have any disability or didnt have any difficulty 70% and more energy to exert like a running function with the rotation plasti that they say, they have it down to 30% of existing energy and conserving that for you use other parts of your body physically. For young kids, its supposed to be really great. Ive seen a number of kids that have had it. Unbelievable. Suzette as a college kid who used to being active used to being in sports that theyre laying out these options for you. You thinking Im never going to play sports again Im going to run again like all those things are gone and kind of walk to your faith Journey a little bit like up to that. Like how does that hit you like? How do you process that that in terms of like kind of a newer coming into your faith, really? Starting to understand that making your own for your first time baby and then getting hit with something like that. Like what does that do to you? Yeah. I mean it it it it it kind of just rocks your world thats a start right at me and just like holy cow. What is happening that I cant everythings going to ride on have any control, right? This this false sense of control that I did have. But yeah, I mean I just its its really hard to process those first couple nights. I remember just, you know sleepless nights just trying to figure out and pray through. What is my life going to look like? You know what might my dad is such a dreamer and we all went out to all six of us into my force and my three siblings went to answer myself. We all went to the doctors appointment with my surgeon, and my oncology team that first Tuesday, and theyre walking us through everything. I mean, that they did on believable job. But remember, Im sitting there trying to process everything and Im like, yeah, I think it down the road. Im like, I just want to run like today, I want to run and I asked my doctors, like can I run home for that if thats going to be the last time Im ever going to Russia? Can you let me run home? And they were like, no cuz it might break. Your need my break and then the cancer has spread everywhere is there? Like, no, youre done. Like, youre not running and that crust me and then my dad like moments later. So I can So does that mean when he has kids, hes not going to be able to run the backyard with them. In my mind was like, was just like I was just like shattered shows like Im like, literally today, Im like walking around in my dad had such great intentions about it. He wants the best for my life and hes thinking about kids and future for me and its just all like to meet in that moment. I was like, oh my gosh, this is like, shattering down like Im still here. This is forever. This week also Yeah. I mean so my face was really the thing that I clung to try to process to help administer the healing and understanding and discernment and it was it was a challenge in the lord gave me do you know a great support system. My family and friends and so many prayer warriors that I dont even know that were just so faithful in the Lord. Be so faithful to answering a lot of those prayers to give me. Give me hope you dont even bear to give me actually, you know, to be honest. I would never let me ask the question, why me can of that whole year and that was the most freaking thing. It just ages, you know it popped into my head and I would never say never linger. Never never was like there was never a doubt associated with that. There was always, you know, God is in control, and hes good and his Provisions are here for you and theres no way out of this, and hes providing that. Yeah. Dont mean to say its a battle for sure. In the end it it definitely there was gross and maturity, a lot more, one more rapidly than I had expected. As a 21 year old to be kind of thrown into that fire. But you dont never say it takes a village to raise your kids. And Im blessed that the village kind of came out of the Woodworks and help support me and the Lord was absolutely my strength house exchange, your family. Now, I mean, your whole family went through that together like you said, it takes every want answers about on that just for you its for your whole family coming back in or out of it out of the strange thing. What would it change your family? Yeah. Mean our family is always pretty close growing up but ironically, we were all under the same roof that year and my sister is older and Out of school at that point, but back under my parents roof. And I had, you know, was in college and moved back, home immediately it was under my parents roof and two about two siblings that were in high school. When I was a senior in high school, I was a freshman in that was such a special year. I mean, it was just like, we were all racked that first week. Remember the day that the night I was diagnosed, we came back to the house and we just prayed and sang worship songs and just laughed and cried together. And that was really healing and bonding and that kind of set. Set us forward on the trajectory to where we are now and You know, I think I think you threw that year, we all got so much closer is trust. Theres hardship, girl, flipping Close Quarters with each other again, then work trying to be independent, trying to be adults for trying to go through this together and sometimes its overwhelming. Sometimes, its the right amount of overwhelming, but my family has been for sure, besides Im outside, my faith has been the biggest blessing my life and so yummy. We were reflecting on that today. You know, just talking to talk to my dad on the phone. Now, the tent 10-year anniversary, March for my diagnosis, or texting texting. Our family group of just, how thankful we are for the Lords faithfulness. You know that one, Im still here but two that we are all somewhat closer and that weve added new members to our family since then, and then able to see the sea New Life come in. Theres so many things to be grateful for so many things through our journey that have been in a really painful. And at times, you know, destructive to certain patterns of life activities. But ultimately, we truly believe that God has been glorified in this journey together as a family, I always say. Yeah, I mean, its kind of like this. I have a lot of these images in mind about that Journey but I was always liked and I clung to this statement the last number of years at what the worlds all is the most destructive. Diagnosis proved to be the most life-giving in my life. So, I mean, that brings up a question and I dont mean to put you on the spot with it, but you say, I like the, what the world sees as one of the most destructive diagnosis, right? So, you grew up in a solid family with Solid Faith. You even said that, you grew that faith stronger in those couple years before the diagnosis. And then you had that family support still around you. So, you know, you got to talk about this to a lot of different people. Write a lot of different circles. What do you tell somebody who doesnt have that? Who doesnt have that Faith, who doesnt have that family support? That gets that kind of diagnosis, you know, how have you had to have those conversations and I mean if not like what what do you say to them? For sure. Yeah, I mean first and I think everybody has their own battle and struggle in life. Whether thats cancer. Diabetes are you know any other doesnt have to be health-related you know, mental issues addiction and theyre still there, such a gamut of things that just plague our world because you know from our Theology and Doctrine from the Bible. We do believe that this world was broken and there is tangible Brokenness that we see every day. Thats why I said I do if I volunteer here and there at the hospitals and its been a really been a blessing to me. To try to interact with these, these patients and their families. And so I actually get frequently to talk to The Grieving parents or young adolescent males or females even that that you dont kind of lost within this diagnosis and maybe maybe they do a faith. Maybe they dont never never in those moments more so Im more so trying to listen to them in those first interactions then, can I push the gospel message of Hope on him but youre a little plugs here and there. Im always, Im always talking about my face with them here and there and honestly, I think you know people that Are in that despair with those with that news. Theres so much more open and responsive to spiritual things that we can see. If theyve had no experience, you can kind of have some of those more in-depth conversations, but honestly, my message to those that dont have faith. It just as hard to see that in the hospital with people that I got, I was in the hospital. I was treated at the James in Columbus and then as well children, childrens hospital says treated both, places are there I would spend some time for my chemotherapy that year with with kids like one of my best friends with a two-year-old should leukemia patient It Down Syndrome baby and we were kind of pair together like that every week. I was in there she was in there but she was horseshit a great family as well. We would get along really well but theres kids like it just get dropped off Monday morning at the hospital. you know, single single parent homes where they have neon 3 for kids, take care of I live two jobs to work and you know, these kids just dont exist so hard. So I dont know if Im thats really Im kind of screwed him by your answer but she answers know. Youre not what I heard. I mean is probably the most important thing is youre not trying to have all the answers. Youre trying to listen in those situations, you know. And then through the listening, you can find those opportunities to share a little bit about that face that you had her. And now, I dont want to assume but weve got, we got listeners that are Christians non-christians. We obviously want this to be a platform to hopefully reach and non-christians to just get them asking questions too. So I dont even want to assume that they when were talkin about, you dont share our faith or you talking about the gospel. In that like what does that mean to you in your life Yamin? Took to me, that is the faith that in Jesus Christs face in the Bible that it is the authentic word of God. And that there is actual hope in this world of pain and suffering, the gospel, you know, good news that stuff for me and I clean to that gospel and then beyond that. But what that gospel in the Bible with the Bible says and proclaims Gods goodness to be this, but I really climb to during my cancer experience. He wanted to at least put your put you on the spot again with it. Cuz, you know, I did people can hear it and we, we know all these terms cuz we grow up in in the face and we grow up with the Bible but you know, a lot of people here, those things are like what are they even talking about? You know, what does that mean? You dont? You know, you can say all that stuff but you know what is it really mean when youre when youre talkin about that? And I think we all know, I mean, its our faith that we, we are broken, we live in a broken world, but theres no hope and theres Grace that weve been given. Their savior. Thats thats what you can get. When you have a diagnosis like that and you feel like everything else is crumbling down. Youve got something to the cling to a man, so thanks for sharing. For sure. Has your battle with cancer. Change your outlook on life, kind of post recovery thinking about, you know, kind of where were you. Once you were done fighting cancer at the bouncy, its changed my world and think about reflecting upon this week, 10 years of my life on 31 soon-to-be 32, at the third in my life that Ive Gone through and identified as a cancer patient or cancer survivor especially that, you know, the majority of my adult life. And so the cancer takes things from you and it gives things to you. and for me, Its all its always been trying to figure out the ways that what, what cancer gave to me and how can I use utilize that rather than focus on the losses? Answer for me and always have bits big change for me. That I lost my activities. I lost my physical ability. I was, I was pretty active. I can try to think back is like 90% of my days were filled with activity, right? And less than that, but it feels like that. I just so and so my lifestyle changed like just a one and beyond that, thats kind of the surface level, so much deeper than that, is my attitude changed, my perspective changed the journey and the course in the direction that Im taking my life for, you know, where I thought, I wanted to take it previously very different than where I am today. so, all that to be sad, I think, I think Mostly my perspective changed this. What? This life is short. Dont take for granted, be grateful for what you have been given and utilize it to your advantage. And so and and help others who may be are not as fortunate. And allow them to help you with the same time until for me. Kind of funny thinking back cuz its so much of my life was built around like activities. My personality changed a lot, so I I what I dont know, I mean maybe theres some way of just like being immature but Mac, and maybe that the test of some, of this of how I was just like a rambunctious can out their social butterfly kid, that would just, you know, That not that Im not social anymore but I do feel a lot more. Reserved more introspective. Yeah just the very Very thoughtful and I read a lot more thinking and doing a lot of times, its a lot of my buddies. Weve joked. yeah, Im like, I think we started this when I was like 25 there, like youre 25 years old, you know, with the life experience of a 45 year old With the physical body of a 55-year old. You still do stuff, right? Yeah. It is different for sure. You like to do, I have become an avid golfer to golf. Yeah, Ive always done team sports and golf is so individual. So mental. I loved it. Ive been slowly getting better. Improving improving here and there, but always say, like, if you do, you know if your fishing or youre golfing, youre in nature, and youre in a beautiful environment, so you better enjoy it. For sure. You focus on the environment, the cold drink in your hand, and dont worry about the shot, he just hid in the woods. So theres no reason to get mad about it. I cycle to Fortunate enough to bike, but it takes a lot to bike route. Got to get your spandex. Got to get new shoes. You have to I think we got the bike ride dude. Im here and Laura had to go to both of you. I was in my road bike and neighborhoods. With like an inch and a half. Theres a Curt like one of the transitions from like the street to the, I dont know. Yeah, it was rough. It was rough and I was like, oh, this is going to be bad in as you were hitting it. Laura pick these up though, with the kids in the car and burgers, I was not in spandex new spandex new spandex maybe 10 years ago. So obviously, you get a get a flat tire and you go get bagels. I mean, thats just me just things you like to do, chill out. I am and I love hanging out with my buddies, you know, some of my best friends in the world, you know, then really close to for so many years. So when we get together, its 2:10 of fun. Im a big family, Family Guy. Im a die-hard buckeye fan so cant wait for the Buckeyes to come back next weekend. Yeah, well depends, when his body could be over next weekend, I do read a lot, pretty active at my church. Any books, you recommend? Bloody question. We always like, to give some resources to this dinner. So willing to him in the podcast. She actually, yeah, I mean, you no good ones that youve read that it helped you in your spiritual professional development. Ill give you Ill give you three jean dress real quick. 1st John Rebel relate to my cancer Journey. Tim Kellers book. Walking with God through pain and suffering is really phenomenal for anyone that is suffering. Currently first part of that book, he does a really good job of articulating and going through like the historical perspective and philosophies of different worldviews. So if I would always recommend if you are currently in a suffering stage, skip the first part. Come back to it later phenomenal book. I highly recommend it really gospel-centered, and truly allows your heart to heal through a lot of that suffering and understand the gifts of God. The good and bad things of this world as well. So, I like I cant write always first on my list in regards to that read a lot of books related to suffering. Second-rounder I would say is my brother got me into like fiction fantasy books. Ive never read any of them. I would wait to hear what you didnt bring up here then, but the My brother, when I was in the hospital bed thats like I did, he got me into these books and I Ive read now a lot of this one guy, Brandon Sanderson time. He is a professor BYU. And he writes these books. I know its super nerdy but he has his fourth book coming out in November of this year. Im like this big series called The Stormlight Archives. If you like fiction fantasy, this guys the top Stormlight Archives. Ryan to check that out. Has to come in the future. Yeah. How do you know theres like this whole world. I would rather do that though. Then Im not a big TV Watcher so like Id rather do that than Going to binge on Netflix her. So its kind of like a a more engaging for me. I mental activity, last John ra I will say is biographical to biographies that, I love the last year or so reading both by Eric metaxas ironically Amazing Grace, which is the William Wilberforce fire fee, highly recommended especially nowadays, he was the one that abolish the slave trade or was involved in abolishing slavery. End in 1807 in England on offer and then bone offer. And both of those are phenomenal, highly recommend them. Excellent lot of good recommendations for our listeners about your family. Your growing family. Yeah. So so my wife and I met 2015, weve been married. So hes been married since July. 2017 and the doctors because of the amount of chemotherapy went through and the extensiveness of it. They said I was not going to be able to have kids Pretty big bummer. We did the, you know, what 21 you dont, you dont really realize that but we did the reproductive storing options. Im so we were hopeful that in the future. You know through science will be able to take those courses of action. But yeah we have a nine-month-old daughter Michelle. So yeah, I mean you just complete blessing that lies any kid is such a surprise. Ironically, we were, we were like about to get I was about to get tested and start looking. You are starting to look into kind of the fertility options that we had and potentially like, you know, it later course, like adoption options and things like that. We found out literally like two three weeks after that that that Id like to set up my appointment that we are pregnant shows like I mean you theres a lot of great things obviously especially todays day and age with technology and science in doctors. I mean weve seen it for you know our son and everything that theyve done is been awesome. But the end of the day you know, everything would have said from us a science and doctors perspective that youre not having kids. So how did that happen? I think theres only one reason that I cant believe in God after something like that. Then I dont know whats going to take so its awesome to hear. Yeah, shes been a super big treasure in our life. When you guys all have three for kids, eat some guys have all been through it now, Im past it at 14-14 kids between us, what are some of your favorite experiences as a new dad? Like what are your favorite things about your daughter? I love that she knows our voices and needle recognizes that we do care for her. Like she, she trusts us its so unique covid year for girls, born into the covid, start it going out and hanging out with people because the first three months hes really, you know, not not, theyre not fully understanding. Then Jenna wants April rolled around, it was like, alright, covid hit and then two months later we started kind of venturing out a little bit more. And she would like the hate like being in her interaction with other people. She was like, I thought it was just us, thats for sure. But Works at were super excited about it, so we did favorite. It was the most challenging aspect of parenting to you so far. I think for me, it was the sleep to begin with, like, Id never. I really never was never sleep deprived before this and I am a light sleeper and that would that just like wrecked me and Id like, I legitimately cant prepare for it. Like everybody says like it might be rough, but then youre like, you get into and youre like oh my gosh, I have no idea how Im working today and how Im functioning. Like she she had this thing though where she would not she wouldnt sleep unless she was being held until I was tough for like 5 weeks, but I think thats another thing that God prepares the mothers for that because theyre up in the middle of the night, going to the bathroom, like every but as father sweetheart, we just thrown into the fire. For sure unless you sleep through everything you get but you get in fights during the day. Then Im sure you dont get like punched in the middle of the night like a babys crying before but I sleep through everything. So Ryan are you, if Im hearing you correctly, are you comparing your not being prepared for your sleep deprivation to Mirandas having to deal with the pregnancy childbirth and everything else? I just want to make sure youre obviously Im saying that they they are God in his wisdom has provided a way for the the mothers to become adapted to the sleep deprivation so far this year. So give me some advice. I know were still learning are, so Im at, and I are the only ones were the only ones with daughter, so, its, yeah, theyre awesome. Daughters are awesome. The day that my daughters like dont want to just crawl in my back. Read a story and its like Snuggly, the great. So, sweet. I think about some advice, maybe well get back to you at the end of episode. Thanks, man, this is been awesome, really enjoy the time and and your story and I think its going to be impactful for her listeners. If theres one message you could give to just other listeners said, you know, could learn from your battle with cancer. What would that be? And like I said, it doesnt even have to be your, you were all dealing with the other challenges in our lives. So you know, something that you could have learned through that for somebody else is going through something right now. Yeah, I would say find a community that is going to support you believe in you and be your bedrock and push you to Excellence in everything you do. And I think that you know, from my Personal experience that was my family and a couple surrounding friends and they were able to effectively push me towards my face and towards perseverance in my suffering and for me, that thats what I would definitely, encourage to find that support system to find that Community, thats in the thick and thin with you and be that to other people. Device. Thanks man. I appreciate it. Thanks for checking out the core for Life podcast. If you like what youre hearing, why dont you tell a friend about us? Share a link to our podcast on social media or get in touch with us a tour for life or core for life.com? Thats core four life.com catch next time. Google for Life, acidic on for life.

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