This is our 3^rd of 4 episodes dedicated to the members of Core4Life; now coming out on episodes 10, 15, 20 and 25!

Bourbon – Technically not a bourbon… and we forgot to mention it during the recording. However, we were enjoying some Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey for this episode.

beFIT

Andrew grew up playing lots of sports including swimming, wrestling, and football.
He tended to get injured a lot and learned to not put his whole identity in sports.
After having kids early, he spent a long period of time not exercising and really missed being in shape. After having his 4 boys he decided to get back into lifting with the other dads in the group. Working out with a group of guys to stay accountable was key to sticking with it. 
Competition and accountability are two things that keep you driven and working towards a goal.
His goal now is to bench 300 lbs after failing to hit that mark in high school.

beDRIVEN

Andrew started in financial services at the start of the great recession.
Career paths need to be owned by each employee to find there are of strength. Trying new jobs lends itself to new challenges so you can learn and grow.
He had some great bosses that knew where he was weak and could push him to grow further.
Make your boss look good and they tend to reward you and put you in a position to succeed.
Goal setting is important and gives you direction in whatever you want to accomplish.
Having someone keep you accountable and call you on your crap is the best way to grow.

beNOBLE

He was raised by great Christian parents and had a great example of his father to work hard and sacrifice for others. Looking at Jesus as an example of how to live with authentic manhood by living sacrificially.
Playing the comparison game always leads to jealousy and envy and will lead you to a place of emptiness. True joy is found by serving Jesus as your lord.
You have to choose each day who you will serve and refocus each day because we all tend to be self-focused.
He took a trip to Haiti that really opened his eyes to how people in third world countries live and how blessed we are to live in America
He learned to embrace God’s plan for his life with his 4 kids.

beCHILL

He really enjoys traveling and has recently got to take trips to the Dominican Republic and Belize.
Mike’s lake house has been a great place to be beChill.
He also joined a golf league this year to improve his game.
Some books he is reading:
Titan: the Life of John D. Rockefeller
A Splendid Exchange: How Trade Shaped the World
A Random Walk Down Wall Street

Podcast Transcription:

Hows it going, everyone? Glad you could join us for another episode of core for life, where youre host on Mike here with Matt Ryan and Andrew, as we bring you another episode every Thursday to discuss four key pillars in our lives, be fit be driven, be Noble and be chill and how our faith is the backbone behind each of those pillars. Were talkin to some awesome gas along the way as well as tackling different topics all in the pursuit of staying accountable with each other and living Our Lives. The way God intended doing in each week, to see if there may be something missing in your life. Lets jump into todays episode after a quick ad for our sponsor. Alright. Fell asleep, and got a special episode here tonight. This is our 20th episode of core for life. And as we had discussed previously, we had number 10 with Ryan Sherry, 15, with yours, truly, and now number 20, weve got mr. Andrew Hudson with us tonight. So awesome, to be able to dive into your life, a little bit and Andrew and I have known each other for in over ten years now, I think. And while its been awhile and gone through some lot of fun times like challenges together through our lives and honestly can say is one of the best dudes, I know. And glad to be able to spend hopefully the rest of my life. Get to know you even more. So are you proposing or you will you be my friend forever? Shed a tear cause love Andrews, great guy. But yeah, Im looking forward to talking to you a little bit more here tonight and just give us a little bit of your background and well, well dive into more of those as we get into our four key pillars great to be here. Obviously love Courtneys with you guys. I want to say, like, you would save the best for second-to-last, I guess, if you want to come, thats fine. I guess, Ill just say about myself. Youre married an awesome wife. Kendall Hudson. Shout out to her. So its good to marry up and I got four, awesome, awesome boys. So Vance to Brooks Alan and Lee, keep me on my toes all the time, youve probably heard them and other episodes, as they remain running around trampled around upstairs, in my basement. So dungeon so its right. The weight room, tell. Yeah, thats Im and we will definitely get into the more of that as we go. So were going to just kind of go through the pillars here and dive into the befit pillar and I know you got maybe some stories to tell as you were growing up and how beef it meant to you in your life, as you grew up. So wont you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah, so the b-pillar, Id like to say, I was a great athlete but that would be a lie. I was supposed OK. A palitos like a decent athlete. Who grew up like a lot other guys. Like a lot of us here playing a lot of sports and a lot of backyard baseball football kind of whatever were doing in the neighborhood group on a cul-de-sac which is awesome to the neighbor kids all kind of came right by our house and we just play out there all the time, got into swimming, pretty early too. So its not a sport everybody movie does competitive swimming growing up, but I did a lot of that and was pretty decent at it. And what was your stroke butterfly? Actually, butterfly and freestyle sounds like the like, the Michael Phelps of Cuyahoga Falls. Mabel thing, you can say, you can say that. Yeah. Yes. William growing up love that didnt love the Speedos but kind of moved on started other sports then as I got in the high school and finally found football which was really like my favorite sport, I think that I played growing up and then quickly realized that the Hudson body I have a couple other brothers as well too and we just had to get injured a lot. So football was like my favorite sport but also the war sport, probably for me at the same time. So tore my ACL hurt, my shoulder hurt, my elbow hurt my neck. So Ive heard a lot of things during football so quickly realized that wasnt going to be like my Future and playing sports, but I really enjoyed it and loved one. I was going to be my question, sounds like youve learned that you werent going to have a future as far as but, did you have anything else that you learned from those injuries? Besides that it looks something like that can be a passion, you can really enjoy it and it doesnt have to take over your life. It is not to be everything to you and you need to not find your identity in that. So think weve all you see the pro boxer that stays around for too many fights are the It, Whatever athlete that kind of keeps like, thats their identity. Thats all that they have. And I cant retire. The keep coming back. Even though theyre past their prime, it should be retired. Kind of like, you know, Tom Brady keeps coming back. Oh wait, no, he is actually still the best Tom Brady and Michael Phelps versus good comparison. The best Like a lot of pro athletes need to learn that lesson. I learned very early that yeah, that was not going to be my future. Even though I love still love plants works today and still enjoy that. So enjoy it. Now youre playing some pickleball here. Now it says I get older so all kinds of stuff that I like to do at this point but knew that was going to be my future and knew there was something that I was going to do enjoy. But not going to do not going to pursue in college. So what at this point in your life? Then what what do you do to stay fit when I mean to you? So now Id say I probably had it. You know, going into college play some intramural still try to keep a little bit in shape and then I forgot married to my wife. We got pregnant pretty quick so I had a honeymoon, baby. And that man, I pretty much didnt do anything sport wise for the next maybe seven years or so and really embrace the dad bod and Brace just kind of that way. Everybody really in right now, weve all been there. Braced a kid being married, not feeling like the pressure to the really do too much. Would do a little bit of sports here and there has been a couple years ago. I just felt like, man, like I miss some of that I miss being able to go out and like run and Ill always remember when I found out that I was having twin boys for the last time we had two boys and then got pregnant again, it was twin boys. I want my buddies at work. He told me, you better start working out cuz these boys will always test you the rest of their life and I was like, huh? Yeah, I really havent touched weights for a while. Havent gone running. Havent played a lot of sports. I should probably do something and then lo and behold just got here to my last met Simmons had had some weights invited people over and then thats kind of core for life start and how my journey. I mean, I dont know if you remember, I havent yet. I dont know that it wasnt me. It was me who your brother-in-law about right CrossFit and we went to his gym once and then well like all we do want to pay $125 and have a CrossFit gym is definitely did me a favor. Youre welcome youre very welcome. Three. But I do remember going to your house. This is probably six years into my 7-year. Dad bod journey and like doing kettlebell swings doing camping like we ran around the block like to warm up and I was like, Im already done and I remember we did it once and I didnt come back for like a year until we all started going back. So I do remember like feeling how bad that feels like that first workout back. I forgot about that. We did a. So that would have been a year before we regularly started working out and came aboard. And we did like a little while. It wasnt even wasnt that much. We might have done some power clean, some kettlebell swings I just remembered halfway through the kettlebell swings you and me are switching back and forth and we may be doing the 35 lb or something. And I just remember feeling like Dad and I did not throw out. I was proud. I did not throw up like many of us did on our first. The first time for many guests did when they came to your shame in that. Theres too many times and several others. But yeah. And then I didnt come back for a year. So I guess maybe I should work for a little bit harder but it drove that coming back. Like you could have just stayed gone for a year like, what what Switched Off Their I think? Just like the fact that we were, we were in it together and we were all kind of in that same stage. I feel like I look a lot of us have been like high school college athletes and we all kind of miss that a little bit and we miss the camaraderie of it. And I feel like thats what I miss the most and thats what is just me. And Matt, I just felt embarrassed standing next to that and have him dominate me when were all in it together was like, we were working for a common goal. We were, we are accountable to get up to either. We got up at either was either 9 at night, its good to go and all the kids were in fact, we all had kids at that point, where was like 5:30 in the morning and I was late at night. So yeah, its usually 9 at 9 p.m. start or at 5:45 a.m. I like to go summertime. I like the night more fun to do my kids down. Now, Im ready to go right now. So yeah, just I feel like having that camaraderie having that accountability knowing youre going to get up and open the gym, you guys are going to show up and just make me want to get up and go. And I think part of that competitiveness came out again, then I was like, I dont want you guys getting in way better shape than me. Like, if we play basketball or would like to do some sport kind of off-the-cuff like, you guys going to shave pubes dominate. So if you like that competitive Spirit kind of comes out and then we threw in the, the littoral combat competitions, where we did the weight loss competitions. Weve done Max effort competitions and stuff like that. So yeah, I think thats thats a good point that camaraderie and just that drive of keeping each other accountable and driving each other towards that. Common goal of staying shit. Yeah. Fishing accountability. I miss a lot of the stuff that we we talked about, as we keep going here, its when youre growing up, youre around people. You know, youre on teams and its constant competition and accountability because of who youre with, but it can easily be forgotten about. As you go about your life and your career and you know, if you have a family and things like that, its easy to forget about some of that stuff. So you know what does he has guys? Are you need a healthy outlet for some of that so think we all still have a lot of that drive and some of that want for competition and like if we dont have like a healthy Outlet to do that with other guys were working towards a goal, as you know, weight loss goal, like whatever it is is strength goal but that competition is going to come out in other ways needs a lot of unhealthy ways to do and then theres some more healthy ways to think its been good that weve been able to embrace that a little bit. And then we been good for me. For sure has has working out been good for you. Family Guy know when Im working out Im probably a better dad because Im letting out some of that stress and some of the same as it had like a broader effect Beyond just physical fitness but has it leaked into other areas of your life. Yeah, I will ask that the store is like a my grumpy or when I get up in the morning and work out. Where did that Lit out? Like some of the stress and Im actually like more children the day. So its hard to tell, I feel like, I feel like when I go out and play with them, I definitely feel like I can make. I can just go out and play and like not think twice about it and run, right past them and then you can earn it. So I think theres some of that that makes me a better dad like just some of that you know, being around other guys and like know that you guys are dads. You guys are striving to make your kid. Better and look be good examples to them like in that way, for sure. I think that makes me a better. Dad, cool. I dont know about you, but I want to be fit enough to beat my kids in any sport as long as possible other. Thats my goal. How many years do you think you have? I dont know. Its been awhile when I get in the high school. Im I want to be at the point where Im fit enough to beat them in any sport at a buffet. Hopefully, theyre good athletes when theyre better than I was. You know, the wrap up, the, the b v pillar here. I know youre, youre in the midst of a, a challenge of yourself right now, for staying fit, but also getting stronger. So, tell us a little bit about that where youre at and where you hope to be by the end of this year. Yeah. To find a home gym like at any point. And then finally going to have enough equipment then I guess I could say, I have a home gym in all this. So set a goal this year wanted to try to add to bench, 300 hadnt, done it some of those injuries in high school ended up benching a lot cuz I hurt my knee, pretty bad, and I never could do 300, but just always wanted to and I just thought it was just something good to put out. Their big was talking to be in the Beedrill it driven pillar more. So just about like a red and goes down or setting goals your lot more likely to accomplish those. And I just wanted to put that out there knowing that you guys would keep me accountable for that. Ask me about it or. I was hoping someone at least bought me for a for bench while. I was wanting to vent all the time. Im always up for beds, man, the one who put that goal out there, let you guys know, that was something that I wanted to strive for. And then also know, when Im in my 30s, like strength goals, I think your goals are going to, theyre going to change, depending on, you know, where you are stage of Life. Why? So Id heard that your thirties are kind of like your finger last time with you really want to make some strength gains, like thats kind of a the tail end of the time that you can do that. And then you may be focused more on cardio or different events may be as easy as you continue to get older but as far as like getting a lot stronger, like that might be kind of tail ends at least for those of us that are professional powerlifters and such will see about that will challenge that Norm for significant amount of time. And if we help you keep working out, I just dont know if Ill be like maxing like my Max will go up a lot higher than maybe where it is now but who knows, I could be wrong and maybe Ill be surprised by that. Cool man. Well I think I think Being Fit has a lot to do with being driven for us because one year staying healthy staying active doing that. It it gives you that drive to continue to excel your career and where youre at. So why dont you just give us a to start off here in the beach was, until a little bit of background on your career and where youve got into at this point. So the Bennett Financial Services pretty much my career right out of college to start out of the bank work there for a little while, right? In 2008 in the market was tanking like as I was in training and I was like huh, Im lucky that even have a job right now, but didnt know how long that bank is going to be around 4. Im switched over to like a big Financial firm, do retirement planning now to work with like for one case and companies like that. So Ive been there a little over ten years and I think maybe similar to to my fitting Story. I may be more about more of a coaster in life, like, Im not always the most driven person or not, as naturally driven, maybe that Ive noticed, I got like, to do things kind of, maybe a little bit naturally. And Im okay at things. And, and Im going to leave it at that and I feel like I cant find myself doing that in my career as well too. So just like having you guys in the fitness realm, kind of push me further like some of the need to kick in the pants on the career side too. So I was in a couple different jobs within the same company and Henry found my Niche. I feel like for your career its its really on you to own like nobodys going to Delete a path out for you. And thats one thing that I discovered especially like a bigger company, like youre one of quite a few people there. You got a kind of Blaze your own trail and thats what I learned here. These last probably four years is that like if youre at a job that that isnt your strength necessarily youre the only one thats going to be able to like find something that is your strength like nobodys going to do that for you. You have to go out and look at some of those other areas that might be out there and try some things and thats going to be uncomfortable. Thats not going to be the easiest thing to do any time you switch jobs, theres a steep learning curve, come into that new position. So switch jobs a couple times in the last few years just got into another job, a couple months about six weeks ago so Im in that steep learning curve right now again but had a good opportunity come up. I think theres something thats going to fit my skillset a little bit more. Ill be able to get out, leave me in front of clients, a little bit more so than I had in the past. Its something, Im excited about, but also something youve just a little nervous about I havent done it before, havent been out in front of presenting as much. So this podcast, obviously helps that we get to Talk Amongst ourselves, but to do that in front of it, like you a larger audience is something I havent done. So I think, in that way, if you change jobs every now and again like that can be really healthy. That can push you get you, new experiences, and push you to grow in ways that you wouldnt have done if you stay in the same position and got Further refine your skills. You got such a big learning curve. Every time you take a new position I think it forces you to grow and force you to take on new challenges. Do you said you kind of generally speaking pass, if you need a lot of kind of a boost to get going? Is that switching positions? Is that one of the things that youre youve been able to do to get to make those moves to encourage yourself? The challenge yourself to grow. What other things have. You discovered that Ive helped you get that motivation. Yeah. So think of switching jobs, I think was, was one of those biggest things. So, thats switched jobs about four and a half years ago, into position after the cement six, six years in the previous job and it kind of wasnt it a great match for me until I and I could kind of tell that youre my manager. Could probably tell that she wants it, but was okay. Enough to like, I was going to be there. I would have been fine, but I needed something for myself to switch and give myself a new challenge. And I think thats thats just tough to do and stage of Life wise to it. If youre having kids. Thats not the best time to challenge yourself in other ways to to the kids. R kids grew up, it was easier for me. I was being challenged as much in the household. Front is easier for me to challenge myself down on the work, front leg switching positions. Looking for a new challenge can be one of those but also I havent done it as much but like you if you have a mentor, if you have some people that are may be further along in your career and theyve theyve done some more of those things. Theyve had different experiences. They can can pour into you more. So I think again thats where that accountability comes into or that mentorship. If you can believe other peoples mistakes or other peoples experiences thats going to put you ahead of the curve as well to see. Theres some things you got to learn yourself when you got experience yourself and those other things, you could be taught How should you you answered a lot of questions that I had for you here already but one thing that stuck out to me and I think you mentioned a little bit about your manager and how they saw you, and thought about you, you know, we all either have had bosses have bosses or our bosses. I mean, what are, what are some of those qualities in a boss that have helped you in your career? Like when you, when you thinking about your manager and something that has stuck out to you that has helped you grow in your career. Yeah, great bosses over my career, to some lucky and I know not everybody has that. So Ive had some really great bosses or if any of them will be listening and maybe you can shout out there. Now, if you want them, great boss. Has that quality of a great boss, has to be able to seem same as the quality of it. Like a good friend and accountability partner. If they can look at you and then they know you well enough. To know where your week and they could push you in that area and make sure that you dont stay a week in that. And then you get experience that can grow you further. So they can some of those ways like areas where I will be, you know, just kind of chill in and and not push myself like to the presenter, to get out and go to meet new. People may be at work or not, get out and get out of my department, or to present in front of larger groups, or senior leaders to act like a really good boss. If youre doing good work, if you make your boss look good, I feel like theyll put you in a position to succeed as well. No, put you in a position where you can get noticed by you by senior leadership. So I feel like Ive had bought that have put me in positions to succeed and to get recognized for the hard work and if youre working hard and you have a good boss, I feel like thats usually the outcome, the boss will put you in a position hopefully to to get recognized for that work that you do and Ive had a lot of that which is great. Thank you, brother, an important distinction there. The boss that knows your weaknesses, but will come alongside you in those weaknesses to help you grow as opposed to exposing those weaknesses. Cuz I think that thats easy to kind of take advantage of as a, as a yam as a boss. But I think thats a great, great distinction. There, that people are willing to build you in those areas and push you in those areas to grow. Yeah, I think its absolutely true and even encouraging you in those areas and I think each of us has different areas where where maybe not as secure in our self and that maybe we were hard on ourselves that other people would be an event of a boss. That knows you well and can speak into those areas and say, hey, like youre decent this and I think you could be great at it, give it up some after I want to put you in a position that you can succeed and can speak into that. I think its huge know. So I think its all going towards that point. I think you mentioned it earlier to thinking about your boss and some of the things that youre setting out for yourself would be in terms of goals. You know what, why our goal was important to you and how has that helped, you kind of grow in your life and your career. Yeah. So I read a while ago, that your, I dont know the percentage right now, but its your ex amount more likely to accomplish something. I could you actually write it down so you may want to get a new job next year. But if you dont write it down, if you dont tell people about that that theres theres just some power and telling something two other people that you want to do it. And setting a goal that allows you to kind of put pen to paper and make that goal real and that affirms it in your own mind and a firms. If thats something that you want to do and its something that youre going to Denver still. So I feel like you do goals on the lifting x amount of weight or doing something on the fitness side. You are important that also have that in a career as well to see if theres something that you want a complex. I think youre way more likely to do that. He tell somebody to beat Elementary you tell a boss or if you write that down you set that as a goal for yourself. Im even if A personal goal to put yourself out there, you know, whatever it is. Go to take another colleague out to lunch, get to know some people outside of your department, present to a larger group, were sent to senior leader ship, something like that, but you can set a goal thats going to stretch you and put you in a position that if youre not comfortable, but its going to be something thats going to help your long-term. So then goals are really important in that way and especially like I said before, from me that maybe tends to Coast a little bit more, I need a right now goals, Im just not going to do something. So I think I know myself enough in that that if I just Coast Im not going to get anywhere. So if I want to get somewhere and you knowing I want to provide for my family more, I want to provide for my kids setting, some of those goals going to help me accomplish those things that I ultimately want to do. But Im going to be uncomfortable to do and wouldnt actually want to And I think one of the key things there is like you said having those people, theyre going to hold you accountable to that young. We can all we can all come up with goals and we can all feel good about him be like, yeah, Im going to get this done. But whos going to, whos going to keep you accountable to that the other going to be just yourself? Or do you have a core group of people that actually going to talk to you about those? And actually going to make sure that youve gotten them done or are progressing towards getting them done? I think finding a group of guys or people who love you and know you well enough to call you on. Your crap is, ultimately, Ill call you on your crap all day long. And we got you on that, man. Thats been huge in my life. I think the first person that I really was accountable for Zack, back in high school sophomore year that the first person that knew me enough and actually cared enough to Call me on my crap like you said and you got to be able to care about someone enough cuz thats an uncomfortable conversation. Nobody wants to be calling the crap. Like I definitely dont but I know it need it. So I need you guys to call me on that and we all need that. None of us are perfect. And we all need somebody. That can be like, hey, you can improve in this way and I think youd be awesome in these areas. But you got to stop doing this, are you got to get a, whatever it is? We need that bad. I need it to dive into a little little bit deeper into some of the stuff that weve done and gone through without without getting into specifics. You know, well meet with us and some other guys, too. And an accountability group Severy few months to just throw questions out there. You know, the questions that you dont normally talk about with guys or friends or, you know, whoever has level stuff. Yeah, not not surface-level stuff. We get, you know, we ask the Deep questions and, you know, Expect everybody to answer honestly and we know like you know if somebodys holding something back you know in those group session so I would venture to Guess that theres not a lot of that happening out there with a guys who are hugging owns fathers, maybe in their 30s or whatever, you know that are really getting into those types of discussions to call you out on your crap cuz you said you know and when you have that and you know that you have those people that are going to call you out on it. Youre less likely to do it because you do you know that when you get into that group session, you dont want to have to going to be at about, are going to be asked about it. And you dont want to have to you, no answer honestly to that point. But you know that if you lie about it, theyre going to know and yep, you know, were always very open, very honest about those, those things that are going on and I think its a, no, Ill say to me, its been helpful for me, for those types of conversations to, you know, stop some of those things that are in my life that I know are debilitating to my growth. Yeah, and ultimately, thats one of our plans as core for life is to Help assist other people in forming these groups, you know, get like-minded people together. Who can hold each other accountable in each one of these four pillars that weve established then. So well see tons more of that coming up as we progressed throughout our journey as core for Life. Yeah. You know, I dont I dont know if weve even mentioned it that much but yeah, that was kind of the beginning conversation of getting the start. It was like man, this is such a cool cool concept that we had a. Weve got a great group of guys that were in the same stage of life and we are holding each other accountable for being fit and being healthy and being driven and Noble and all those different things in our life. And we feel like yeah, based on conversations that weve had with people that are around us. They dont necessarily have that in their life. And, you know, wed love to be able to to get people to form those types of groups and get close with each other. A lot of in my might just be someone needs to take the initiative to reach out to those people that are in their life. Theyre just not having those conversations with that type of relationship. So its, it could be someone that youre already closed well, but you just havent taken the step. And I would say, we may fall into that category for a little while. We all knew each other, but are we keeping surface-level? Do we have accountability within our group for a while now, but pushing it to that level especially after you sweat it out together. For a while. Early in a two-man sauna with four Dudes in there literally sweating together. And thats so true about guys, guys. Specifically, its like, all right, you want to get deep? Well, how do you get deep? I used to do, men, stuff in college around like a Mens Conference. And the first thing we do to break it down, is it was do something physical together. Guys are going to bond together shoulder-to-shoulder, what type of activities can we do? And then after that, for some reason, the guards go down and youre willing to talk and youre willing to connect and have that accountability or like it just breaks down a barrier. So I think for us it did that with working out in the gym but for listeners. Think about who those people are that you respect people that you trust. Thats a trust is huge because theres probably people in your life right now that need it too and they just need someone to bring it up. Yeah, theres power in bringing things into the light. I think you can touch on that in a positive light and seven goals and tell. If youve bought those goals and theres like setting and getting calling your crap. If if theres an area that you need to improve on that, youre screwing up their power to bring in that into the light and not just keeping that to yourself and thats uncomfortable. And if youve never done that before, then you know its hard to do. But that the best Thats the only way I think that youre really going to grow ultimately. Yeah, youre not growing by hiding any of that stuff for keeping them in. Ill get stuff Manuel Ed to transition a little bit into the be Noble pillar. I know we talked about it previously on on podcast with you a little bit. What we know, youve been raised with a great family and some great influences in there while Im eating. Once you start with this pillar with just how how you been raised whats whats been the of some of the important factors theyre in your life? Yeah I mean I can just said my current background my family by me for going all the way back. You just raised two great parents your love the heck out of me I got theres four of us kids on the 2nd of four and yeah just did they really Raise Me Up and taught me, Gods love Tommy what it was to to be a man and yet to have got to love like in my life and showed me that what that looks like you were in a family setting and I think on my like on my dads side he lies like an awesome guy just hard-working guy and always provided for us well and shes a great leader in our family. I think he tried to instill in us, like what a just like, what a Christian manhood was, like what Biblical manhood was. And I think thats something that I having four boys. Now, myself really try to instill in them too. And its not this kind of phony masculinity that you see out there, like, all the time. But its guys that the genuinely, like we said, genuinely love and care for each other. And I willing to sacrifice for you for those that are weaker. But also for, for those that they loved and not to be selfish and not to just use their strength like, for their own Advantage. So thats something that was definitely can still didnt me specifically by my dad and my mom too. And that Im trying to instill it in in my boys. So great examples of my parents growing up to really thankful for that and yeah, appreciate of I got everything they taught me. You mentioned some of the things that youve learned from them and wanting to raise your boys, you have for boys, with authentic manhood. What exactly am in dig into that little bit? What does that mean to you? Yeah, Im going to think ultimately like from me like when I look at my face and it look at you like that but look at the person of Christ of Jesus and I look at the way he was going to lay down his life for her for other people. So when I think of going to be the opposite of going to fake manhood is just like that. Its all about you do about what you can get out of life. But what you can get from other people, you know, whether thats you on the job or in relationships, its its just about you, its about how cool can you be? How good can you be? How much can you make? And theres so much insecurity and playing those comparison games all the time. And I think thats an easy trap to fall into Because you seems like theres always theres always something to compare. And theres always like when you start comparing, theres theres other, when theres ways that you look good, and you can feel good about yourself and there was people that are probably going to be better than you ever have more money. I have more stuff for have a better career or whatever it is, is that somebody that theyre going to look too, and, and be jealous up or envious of. So, I think thats just such a shallow way to live your life to taking that example from from Jesus, that really tall about what do you give back? What are you using your strength for where you putting yourself in a position to get to help others? That really makes you a man. So, using, those talents and the gifts that youve been giving to really give back to help other people. So you can do that through and theres plenty of Good Charity. These things like that up there, your church, a bunch of different ways that you can use that and just in your everyday relationships. So you mentioned, I mean, giving giving back, what do that? Be your your time, your money? I know you if you got a lot of different Serving and volunteering within the church and things that weve done. I mean why, why is that important to you and how is that helps you grow on your face? Yeah, I think thats thats where the rubber meets the road for, right to think we can all talk about wanting to do the right thing. Or it would be nice if we could help each other out or help other people out. Thats one thing I really like about our church is that, you know, theres they do missions trips other countries and and how about other countries where they dont have the resources maybe to do something. Or well have volunteer opportunities that that we get to participate in and go. I like, you and I got to help build a playground. When you get to finish the playground, forget to get to help out a little bit. So feel like theres theres some real value in looking at that and be on a see other people that are in need and be able to step into that and be able to help out and not that you need to get credit for that. But just to be able to looking and then realize that theres people that are in need, theres things that you can do to meet those needs, what its TimeWise monetarily. However, it is, but theres so many opportunities that are out there and just to take advantage of some of those. Like, we all have talent, we all have gifts that we can use and theres a lot of ways we can get that. Yeah, I think thats, I mean, circling back and then I guess why I was asking a question and he read some of your responses is a lot of stuff thats going through my mind right now and thinking about what were doing here for Kingdom purposes and worldly purposes. You know and we can get caught up. Like youre saying in those worldly purposes of while Im trying to grow my career trying to make as much money as I can so that I can get the night at my house, I can for my family, I can have a nice retirement and be comfortable if you know if possible. Right. Yeah three of us are competing in that category. I got a couple run bills so you dont but it is that mean its easy to get caught up in all of that. And you know, when were really thinking about things, like what really matters in life, you know, what is having the best home gym is that what matters is getting to the best position at your job? Is that what matters like? Thats what a lot of people are fighting through and trying to figure out? What, what is that thing that theyre trying to get to in their life? And ultimately he is working through it in my own head is like you got to Go to figure out what is really important. And I think all of us agree like whats important is, you know, your faith and how that is affecting you and your life and how its affecting others around you and how are, how are you affecting his kingdom in all of that, you know? And you know, so when youre talking about giving time money, like yeah, we can we can have fun and we can be lifting and have a great home gym but the end of the day like is is that helping to further his kingdom? How are we? How is that affecting that? And its something to obviously Im processing right now. As were kids were talking through all this and try to figure out where we are to even go with some of that stuff. But you can see that, you know, you youre finding some of that and what youre, what youre giving, what youre doing and finding joy in in some of that stuff. So, Thats it for me like I think of the concept of just lordship like who who my really serving. Am I serving my career money possessions to get the next running it wrong on the corporate ladder? Like theres so many things that we can chase after that. Ultimately, our meeting Less in there. Theres always another ladder. Theres always something that is bigger house cuz I have some more perfect family, but theres a whole bunch of things that we can chase after and, and ultimately going to leave you unsatisfied. And I think we talked about that on your podcast as well. Even things that are good. Like its family, you know, youre kicking it diagnosed with cancer. Like there, theres two things that can happen that that can take those things away. So if, if, if Christ isnt on the throne and the Lord of your life, like theres a lot of things I can leave you disappointed and and leave you wanting in life and I think thats what it comes down to look for me when Im looking at those things. The you got to choose everyday like, whos whos going to be the Lord of that day, is going to be the Lord, of, of those interactions that you have that day is going to be, you is going to be your things that you want or worldly things is going to be things that that are going to build build Gods kingdom. And thats kind of what it comes out to on a daily done. A daily basis, we got to make that choice, that is a choice, but its easy to fall into. This is what I want category. I know its easy to fall into my kingdom. My wants my needs. So how do you re Focus like, when you, when you start feeling that way, or when you start, recognizing that youre working towards your goals? Yeah, cuz I think that thats like the default write. The default is just going to wake up and Im going to, Im going to do whatever happens today. Its like, Im just going to roll with the punches and just do whatever I can, and hopefully it works out. I got a default. So I think its your each day you had to make that choice and eat each day. You, you got to kind of renew yourself in that way and either youre getting in the word. Pray accountability like these kind of talks deal with guys that I trust and guys that I know are going to steer me in the right direction and you got to be able to refocus each day cuz it cuz if not the most natural thing, I think the whole thing is Im just going to do what I want to do. You know. Yeah thats perfect. Ive been just thinking while youre talking and focus is the big thing because we can do a lot of different things but if we have the wrong Focus, then its wrong. We can be doing all the, you know, like like whatever were focused on. And really, whatever happens after that is longer Focus On Christ, it doesnt matter. Write a if were focused on Christ and I believe that were going down the right path, no matter the outcome. So whether you know, whether youre getting that promotion, if your Focus On Christ OK, Google the promotion, but youre not focused on Christ. Okay baby, we need to refocus and so even like sometimes the outcomes the worldly outcomes are not indicators of, you know, are we align with what we believe in or we align with our purposes and when those get out of line, you know, thats what the problem is. Now you can be climbing the corporate ladder and looking great on the outside and on the inside your broken and your, you, no problem waiting to happen, you know, youre one step away from it all falling apart. But if you focus on the right things, no matter if you have hardship that comes up, and weve experienced that going to come. The hardship is going to come, you know, what your foundation, which to focus. So, I guess, speaking of hardship, you know, weve weve talked about how a lot of these things shape, our lives near the things that we go through during our time here in, we talked about Mike and his son Rider and youll have that has shaped his outlook on life and some of the other things that hes gone through like, water. What are some of those that we talked about earlier, fencepost moments, to the CLC, kind of the Christian leadership Concepts fence posts. So, the main point in your life that you realized, while this has a huge impact on the way that I view things are the way that my life is going, Yeah, so think youre going back to go back to high school times like this when its a mission trips, Id like to travel, probably get it in that little bit more to be chill pillar, as well as love to travel. What is the other places? But doing that, in the cat, in a mission or kind of setting is always been like, really cool. So I think back in year of high school in between Junior and Senior year when I went down to 80 and just did a trip there. So just working with the school down there and getting to see Just people, I picked up like, third world, fourth world country, like, whatever you want to call, but just because Ive literally had nothing and its a high school or just realizing just how good that we do have it here. Can we talk about? Like a lot of like I havent had a lot of a hard times are like bad times. Ive been blessed. Like in that way that a lot of like really difficult things havent come my way but getting to see what other people have gone through or have dealt with and getting too young to be a Minister elected them. Its been like really impact was I feel like I was as a young man getting to see some of those things and getting to see people that really struggled really didnt have anything with you early but then some of them could be really happy and get back to your Focus, Matt that they have the right, Focus still to even in the midst of them living in abject poverty. They were so happy in their focus was on the right place and that was just at the high school at Just blew me away, you know what I mean? So if you like, that was a big shaping moment for me getting to see, youre getting to see something. I was just so different from what I knew. Now what I knew here in America and like my upbringing and getting me, see people in a totally different world from from everything that I knew. And that some of them still have the focus that was on Christ and on the right things and they were as happy as I ever was to, that was really shaping to have kind of my worldview. And look at what was important. What was an important and what altamed you get, happiness, from or Joy from. And its, its not all these things that you can chase after in America, a lot of times. That can disappear like that. Like an instant. Yeah. But I think thats a good perspective on, you know, something that youve seen from somebody elses perspective on things that theyre going through and dealing with that, you havent had to deal with in your life. But nothing we had, we do have a lot of listeners that our husbands fathers and think you did go through some challenges when you mentioned it earlier in the podcast of getting pregnant on your honeymoon and were not connected to the dart, your yeah. Start your fatherhood that that soon, you know. And then Im just going to combine these two questions. As you practice up because you then were deciding whether or not, you felt like, you guy was calling you to have three or four kids and then you had twins, you know. So you know, a little bit about the challenges that you had of having that kid conceived on your honeymoon. And then having twins, just now talked a little bit about that. Sometimes the biggest blessings are also the biggest challenges. In certain ways. Yeah. So I think that that definitely having van slyke right away. I set some goals made some plans, you know, paying off student loans, wanted to let you know, traveling something, I love to do want to travel with the wife for a few years, what a lot of plans, kind of app of things that I thought I was going to do in the first couple years out of college. And it kind of got all all thrown out the window with having Vance. And we had Advanced kind of earlier than any of our friends did that. Was just you can kind of That Awkward stage where you can call that 10 at night and so I can come out and do something. Its like, no, I really dont want to sleep. Hes the writer then. Whose stages of right, out of the gate. So yeah, so just to have like my plans throat like Xcetera. Not always like the best planner but had made some definite plans and especially liked working in. Finance had like some specific like Finance goals that I wanted to let you know, if all the the wife student loans, things like that. And I dont got to kind of put put on the sidelines for a while and I know its challenging just for me to like realize, like, you know, I got the best laid plans but sometimes that doesnt matter what thats not what, but God has planned for me. Thats not what how my life is going to go. So to be able to come to roll with the punches a little bit more and and just Embrace that and we like I were going to have one kid, like were it, lets just have our kids early and then well be done early. So I had another and then were like I do for, you know, three go for a girl and then we got two more boy for sure, we get one girl in there but nope all boys. So were trying to embrace that to just roll with the the boy train. You got wrestling mats down here so they dont destroy all our furniture. Boxing bag. So just trying to trampoline. Let him take a look at all their energy out. So I think I learned in that. Yeah, just kind of rolling with the punches. You, you dont always know what lifes going to throw your way now, trusting that theres theres a bigger plan maybe outside of just what you think you should be doing and, you know, just kind of been brace that and its been awesome. So, we do love your lover boy, thats those are probably the funniest moment of my day. You no coming down on lunch or were all working from home, but coming down wrestling around with them. Like those are the best times of my day now and initially I found out a little while. Ya little unsure how things were going out, what thats it, right? Its your plan vs. Gods plan and yelled. I think its for people who dont have that in your life, you feel, youve got to. Theres a lot of type A personalities and youve got your plan and when that plan doesnt go as expected, Then everything is thrown off, right? But when youre able to compartmentalize some of that and focus on whats important in like, hey, you know, we had a plan and we thought we were going in the right direction, but apparently got had a different plan, very different plan. Do you know then? Lets embrace it and go full force towards that because he knows better than we do. Yep, hundred percent will cool. Man, I appreciate you sharing some of some of the atom and you mentioned a little bit that you would you like to travel. So as we wrap up here, some of the stuff, I mean, where where do you want to go? Like womens talk a little bit. Like when you got, we got where we doing the New York or four core for life. Travel anywhere. We can go over looking far into the future that we should plan something for like a one year. Were you need to start in the cast man to travel. So God, like right after college lived in Brazil, for 3 months live in Florida Keys, work down there for 3 months then hadnt had kids right away, but got to do a couple cool trips with my wife here recently went to Belize went to the Dominican Republic with someone at this table as well. To is a good 10-year anniversary trip. So yeah, its like getting out and theres like, very fun vacations. I mention some of the mission trip to Haiti, as well, to help a couple that was, she got like, to travel and I think, Ive slate the want to shout out to the Mike Brown lake house as far as that the be chill pill and its one of the two spots really be chill at in one of my I try to take advantage of its offices. Youre down there. Try to get down there myself as well. Glad I can accommodate that absolutely you travel. Well the my most envious moment is the the shrimp nachos that you aint down in Belize. My gosh so good, a few times but yeah, good a good pile of shrimp nachos, just hit the spot. It seems like all these trips just tend to go to warm places. Is there something behind that? Not opposed to go to some? Well, I feel like Alaska is like what? On one of my like, Id love to like to have a great trip to Alaska. Theyre pretty soon, but its always been poor for life. One day every year for Life. Alaska, Alaska trip like a salmon. Fishing trip in Denali National Park. Spend a couple days there had some play Schurz. Im down. I always thought that was like an old person trip for some reason. So awesome, man. Look up. You to be me. Im not going to get to go to the old, but Ive always wanted to go on a boat. You might, as well just do that when youre old. So its such a good trip, man. Its so Queer as beautiful then I get awesome. Yeah, but yeah. Ill ask love history like to read big history buff. So Id love to go like Europe. Did a trip to Israel to talk about some some history. That was an awesome trip with my dad and brother. So that was really cool. Be I would love to do a little European tour at some point as well to So you like to read, what do you read men? Do you. I like like I dont like read much fiction. If love was a good mystery novel. I do more like I like biographies at the light. I do. Maybe nerdy. But I like listen to econ and you like finance history, like type stuff, you like not lined up in my job but its enjoyable reads, throw some out there. This is you, as we wrap up, we always like to get some resources out there for the listeners. So, whats up? Yeah, so I read Titans like that. John D Rockefeller story really interesting, but two more books, I really enjoyed most called a splendid exchange on. So about like the history of trade and things like that, but really interesting. And then, if you want to get into it to finance, that kind of thing. Im a random walk down. Wall Street is really good again for the history of Wall, Street, history of Canada, Meeting socks, all that kind of stuff. But really interesting if you like that kind of I kind of worried Awesome Annan. Yeah, I dont know if our listeners know, but this dude is in a golf league right here. Heck, yeah, ever inside of this, was it. This is the year when I join a league. Actually, I didnt grow up playing at all, and I would get my butt kicked all the time. So join the League this year and improved a lot. But enough you would do well to be expected you to show up on our golf trips. And you would hack at the ball few times that I can use and you wanted to come obviously a year to have fun and have a good time. And we always with always did. I always wanted the car cuz I was the only enjoyable thing I got to do this to him but you have improved greatly and I did this last time. A lot better on your mind but Andrew not yet. We dominated natural draw on your switch. Ill take a slice with a putter, a slice with anything. Beautiful swing at Topgolf was feeling. Are you were also put together for life golf outing. We will compete against us the core 4 and itll win together. Put together a challenge group also. Appreciate you sharing obviously. We we know you here but hopefully the listeners got to know you a little bit more and I would love you. Glad you didnt share with us some beer tonight and thanks for being real brother. Glad you could join us for another core for Life podcast. If you like what youre hearing, please share this with a friend and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter at core for life or check out our website core for life.com that score four life.com to the next Thursday for another brand new episode. Google for Life, acidic on for life.