Podcast Episode 24: Dave Pyper – What makes you come alive?


Dave is a teacher, coach for over 35 years, and the man who gave me a love for history. Married for 35 years with 4 sons and 4 grandkids.

Bourbon – No bourbon this week as we kick off our fitness 2021 challenge


  • Dave was a wrestler in high school and fell in love with the sport in 9thgrade. There is a chosen suffering in wrestling and it takes a high level of discipline to succeed. 
  • Chosen Suffering is a book he recommended by Ohio State coach Tom Ryan, who lost a child. Dave recently had one of his wrestlers pass away this year that rocked his team and community.  As a coach, he was able to help the team through the loss of a teammate and friend. Being able to steer them to something greater than themselves was key in giving hope to the kids suffering.
  • One of his favorite quotes is, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because the world needs someone who is alive”
  • Dave is very self-motivated when it comes to fitness and finds ways to challenge himself all the time. He set a challenge to do 20 pushups before leaving a room. Atomic Habits is a book he learned about setting systems in place to reach your goals. He took 3rd place against his team of wrestlers with 1300 pushups in 24 hours. He did 104 pushups in a row one day while on a jog.


  • Dave is a teacher but is really a coach at heart. 
  • He loved the defensive side of basketball coaching. His philosophy was “who’s mom do we want to disappoint tonight?” with the goal of shutting them down.
  • He has coached against LeBron James and John Wall. He was up at half against St. Vincent St. Marry but ended up losing the game. He has been to the final 8 in 4 different varsity sports. He has several former athletes playing professional sports now. 
  • As a coach, he had a unique opportunity to be involved in students’ lives and families. He once took a student home and a man was shot on the side of the road. No matter what a student’s background is by caring about them and being involved in their lives can lead to lifelong friendships. Life is about what you give to others and seeing how that comes back to you in relationships. 
  • Many times, people will come to you and want to know if they are ok and you have an opportunity to pour into their lives. 
  • Dave is a life coach. Life coaching is looking forward while counseling is looking back. Most people he is working with are from former relationships that wanted to interact and seek advice from him. Dave took courses from John Maxwell to get a certification in life coaching. You can see more about him at MB life coaching 3.0.


  •  “Be each other’s biggest fan” is his recommendation for a healthy marriage. Never take a shot at your wife when your kids are watching. Honor her above anything else. Never allow your children to dishonor her either. 
  • Kids are resilient and many times don’t remember all the things you don’t do right. Focus on loving them and training them in the way they should go. 
  • As friends, sometimes it’s easier to have someone else speak into your kid’s life.

Podcast Transcription:

Hey everyone, glad you could join us for another episode of core for life. Where your host Andrew Ryan, Matt and Mike, we bring you another episode every Thursday to discuss four key pillars in our lives, be fit be driven by Noble and Beach shell and how our faith is a backbone behind each of these pillars, will be talkin to some awesome. Guess, as we tackle different topics, at stay accountable with each other to live our lives. The way God intended. Tune in each week to see if they may be something missing in your life. Lets jump into todays episode after quick, add for our sponsor. So tonight for our podcast, we have Dave Piper on the line with us to Dave, and I go way back actually, so use my teacher back in seventh grade. So he gave me my love for history. Ill say, hes probably still to this day, one of my all-time favorite teachers coach teacher for over 35 years and a great guy. So super pumped to have you on here today, Dave, and when we kick it over to you and tell us a little bit about yourself, married to my wife sharing for 35 years, with for boys and theyre all in their twenties and early thirties with the oldest has twin boys and baskets in our second. Oldest Cody has two boys. My grandbabies to now, which is great. And then Brock, and Mason. The two younger ones are both teachers and and coaching and follow my footsteps a little bit there and fun. Im right. Why some more fun to have you on? Normally would do a little toast here with a bourbon that would be drinking tonight but we are all in the midst of a fitness challenge and well talk a little bit more about that but we are drinking a Lacroix Waters. No Bourbons no. Alcohol here for a number of weeks as part of a competition that were doing for our Visa category. Im so happy to be drinking a water Lacroix. What do you what do you have on your side? Dave? Cool. Dude, Ive in here. I know you you grew up, youre obviously your coach when I knew you, but you were involved in athletics Fitness for a long time. Once you give us a little background on kind of your fitness, journey, growing up the competitions, and then things like that even involved in 125 lb, basically, and so, but when I was in Middle School, I had a teacher, a teacher and coach, and he said, you know, youre tough. And then you get after if you wrestling a sport for you, and I had never even knew anything about it. So when I wanted to ninth grade, I just stepped on the map for the first time and just fell in love with them. I was always the football player. I play football from the time. I was eight till I was 18, all through high school, but really wrestling became my love and, and then I start really training and developing Through that and really put all my efforts into that more so than anything else, including school and my boys, just start. This is their first year that theyve done any wrestling and that my oldest doesnt love it, but he knows hes working hard. Is getting tough. My second is really hes all about wrestling, and hes kind of, I cant already tell. Hes probably going to be that the small one of, of my four boys, but he is feisty and he is, hes got a little chip on his shoulder. And I feel like wrestling is going to going to kind of be his thing when they get into their Sports in, in the new coach in high school. And in middle school, middle school high schools when they make some decisions, but I think wrestling is a unique one in that. There is a chosen suffering in that, that is a little different than most other sports that youre constantly in a training constantly. Not dieting, but all the time, but watching what youre eating and youre always trying to be in Tip-Top and then the mental part of that is just, you know, thats most of it. If you got a good mental focus and youre able to stay in that zone, youre going to be a good wrestler. Theres no question about that. Yeah, I didnt know much about wrestling growing up my Dad loved her as we actually reminds me of of you a little bit. He was with me was really small on in high school. I think he wrestled, you know, Im the maybe even in the 90s in his freshman year and then finish that 120 maybe his his senior year. So you would take me to wrestling matches and I didnt I didnt really pay much attention. I play with my cars or something where I was that little kid, you know, but then I married into a big wrestling family. So, my wifes dad has been a wrestling coach for the last 30 years or so around here. And so, Ive gotten to see, like you said, that, that mental side of it, that that people do. I mean, weve, weve hired a bunch of wrestlers for our, for our work. And theyre always most mostly, I would say the hard hardest working. Youre very committed to what they do. I see like my wifes brother and her cousin who were both wrestlers and theyre both very, very mentally strong and youre very fit and do that was on the, I think its a great, great sport to learn Those types of things, how to be a hard worker, how to be mentally sound? And you know, I would I would recommend it to Danny any young boy out there as were getting ready to us again to a sport growing up. My hero was Dan Gable from Iowa in the only lost one match. His entire basically his entire life toy trains, the way he did, his mental focus on the things that he did, and I got a little Matt downstairs in like 5 by 8. But I would get home from wrestling practice and Ill go out, Run 5, more miles and come home and get in the push-ups and sit-ups pull-ups and then go downstairs and get my Hundred sit-ups. I would get up in the middle of the night, go downstairs and do maybe 500 stand-ups to make sure, you know, I was ready to roll and stuff so it really gave me the identity of what I was doing who I wanted to be in things and I totally enjoyed phone into school. After matches and hear my name on the announcements. It was it was maybe in the long run the wrong view cuz you can get to into something that that your identity get change, but it really gave me his self discipline in the things that I use. Now, in life, to never, give up all their, I dont know what you got. No time Ryan. Hes the head coach of Ohio State and it is an unbelievable book because it his son, Ill give you the short version, the Sun dies at 5 years old. Im some crazy one and a hundred million disease, but its like a heart attack. So hes there just playing in the house and he dies. And then his journey to find and have been a wrestling, wrestling wrestling coach. All those years and his journey to find out the truth behind what everything is brought him to Christ and brought him to the move towards that focusing his life. But, you know, we week in our lives week. Suffering like, you guys, are choosing to go on these Fitness, you know, adventures and challenges, and then we in a week, do stuff and sports to give ourselves away. But then theres things in our lives that we dont choose, but we still have to deal with. And thats the part where you really have to dig in deep and find out who you are and what you really stand for. Cuz thats the only way you can stand back up again, if you have something behind what youre doing, but youre living for. Yeah, for sure. We actually did we had Tom Ryan at our, our church for a mens breakfast too. And he shared his story. And, yeah. Im a very, very powerful and Ill just listen to another podcast. I were talking about, you know, what? What are, what are blessings in a weekend? We get caught up in American culture today and and talk about. Well, are you, are you blasting? Oh, yeah, were blessed with a lot of, a lot of mail in a lot of money. We got good family, where you dont got a nice car. Like, is that is that what makes you blessed? Or is it? Sometimes it is it. Just what brings you closer to to Christ and that might be I might be suffering something that somebody might not consider a blessing. Did that? Did that bring you closer to Christ during that time. And obviously your time and help him kind of fine Christ and gave him a big story to tell this year, I came into a brand new school with the brand new team and we had a great year with 10 guys with 20 wins or more and had a wonderful year. We had one senior and he was, he went to stay and play some fifth round about a month after that at school near the school with a friend, and it was devastating. And so, And of course, when the middle of pandemic to write, so we cant really get together. So I literally had to go to each players house and the preparation for that was all the things Ive done in life to get me, prepare for things like that, youre never ready for that. But the people around you there, looking for, like answer when those things happen and sometimes, God put you in positions so that you can help people find those answers. Youre not the answer, but you can steer people and show them love, or showing the kindness or, or Grace, or whatever you needed time. And we just needed to love the mean, it was really tough, and you never know how important somebody is or something. Is until its gone and went, and when he left, he left a hole in a lot of kids, hard in high school and you lose somebody. Its a completely different thing. When youre older, doesnt make sense and its very difficult. So, we had a really tough time for a couple months there, and Again, he was our only senior on his brother was one of our system coaches and that it was just a really, it was his other brothers. He has his family and and three of his other boats at RC graduated in been very, very good wrestlers, in all part of the programs. I was a tough time but again I was able to call a coach and… We just kind of talked to that and work through that and help and I got his book so I can share with my players at my athletes. It was a tough time but it really built us. Got a stronger and closer and more wear what we are doing. And I was really grateful because one of the things we did was as the season started, we just gave the kids know. And so every day after school, we met for 20 to 30 minutes and we just began to talk about, heres our theme, heres our Focus for the year. Heres what were trying to do and What are the new things was? A lot of told me how important that was to him and some of the things that it meant to him before he passed. And I was able to share that with the guys from whats important and why youre doing it, how to give everything, and just kind of basically developed the system that would work all the time. No matter if you were senior or freshman and then as we go on, well start again next year with it. And its just a guest speaker. We would just do things, just teaching lessons, shown them how to set goals, showing them how to look past. You know, I work with the five parts of our lives and social, physical intellectual, emotional, and spiritual and, and how to develop those. So, that was really challenging for us at the time, but I did not know his coming is my first year at the school, March hits and we all go out of the school. So it was a it was a very difficult situation outside. She mentioned that you never really prepared to do that sort of thing. But youve got have been preparing for your whole life. Youve been doing things that you said me or telling the players about it, what is it that you did like mentally prepare yourself to the do that? Im just curious how how you, how you bolster your your emotions, your confidence. Your love that theyre going through a situation like that. So thats a great question. I think what happens is, is when you experience different things and how you respond to them, and what happens in your own life, it creates challenges that you have to respond to. So its them how you respond to those and then how others respond to it, that really create the, the frame of reference that you have. The next time something comes along. So one of those things is there is a hope, you know, theres a hope thats beyond like me and you and the fun stuff we do and in our challenges and if were really good at physical thing, Youre really good at selling things. Are there something past that that we have to search for it? And I think steering people that way and then having your confidence in yourself in the way that God will lead is, is always something thats thats been important to me. And Ive been able to them, I mentioned earlier and I have students that Ive had it. See, if you say that have impacted your 500 miles away, just because they go through similar things. So I kind of attached them to it and, of course experience, you cant. I mean, you seen a lot of things. I want you seen a lot of things. You realize that, hey, this is how life works. And you have to be able to give people that hold them, that trust in the things. Im Jeremiah 29:11 that in the future and how do you spell? Let me do me, stop right there and give you a two stops real quick. So this is kind of like my life quote and its dont ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you Im alive and go do that because of what the world needs is. People come alive and then Jeremiah 29:11. You know, it says, for, I know the plans I have for you declares war plans to prosper you and not to harm, you plans to give you hope and a future. So, if you take those two things and you help people recognize their talents to get some skills and then you show them how in performance and how in whether you win or losses, irrelevant how in performance youre able to then evaluate where you are, what youre doing, then you become who you supposed to be. But if it should be easy thats where it where it all starts in it. Thats not hard to do. So all of you have jobs in your life for careers, but some of the things youre doing that those are the gifted talented things that God gave and then if you get people around you that can help you through those on and create those. You know that thats Thats where it is. Thats where its at. Gotta love that quote. I got a similar one, I have had for a while now its that Success is Not What Ive Done compared to what, what others have done. But success is what Ive done compared to what God has called me to be, you know, and its its something. Its, I think its very easy to forget into when youre going about your daily life and your work and your kind of always comparing yourself in a lot of different ways to, you know, to how youre doing your job. How youre doing is a husband and a father, and, you know what, really weve got to be looking in one place and you know, are we, are we doing what God has called us to do? And what do we need to do on a daily basis to to seek that? So, you know, I think thats a, thats almost an awesome quote and youve obviously got your, you had your mind set in the right place for a long time now with what youve been doing. So looking forward to hearing to some more of it here. Yeah, I like that too. I feel like a lot of times I dont think about that. Like what would I say to someone in that situation? Would I say to somebody that like just lost somebody or lost a friend or whatever that is and just kind of hearing you talk to that like its not always about just saying one thing thats going to like make him feel better. Its its walking through that process with them pointing to something. If its not going to be me thats going to make them feel better, fill that void, like 20 of the whole point of the Christ, being able to point you know did to that hope its beyond just whats here right now and be able to be there and walk through that earlier about that mental toughness in the NFL has but I can remember sitting. So I was coaching football staff that had Five or six of us that were previous head varsity. Coaches all in the same room. So if you get a whole bunch of head coaches around, now, its its pretty intense, bunch of elephants and it was a role I had there. At that point, I was the JV head coach and working with the varsity kids and one day, just all of a sudden, one of the other coaches said to me, how do you do that? And I just got to look through them was just him and I alone. He said he goes with your kids cuz my boys were in high school and I was coaching them and I, so, what do you mean? And he said, well just how do you, how do you can see how they relate to you in this contacts and and basically what I had to tell him was the only thing I could tell him was what I mostly get that way to God. Like I dont know how to do all those things. I know I can trust God in those areas and that made it just easier. But what the point of that story is that people are watching you all the time, if you call yourself. And youre not doing it. People recognized right away and if you are there trying to find out if theyre not why, what is it that youre talking about? And now well open some of those doors that will create you know Gods blessings. Yeah, absolutely. I love that. Weve been talkin about the b v Heller and weve gotten into pretty much all the Deep. We were having a conversation and maybe well will wrap up the B2B fifth pillar with to tell us a little bit about what, whats your Fitness routine? Like, maybe today at this point coached a lot of athletes. What are you doing today? Keep yourself in, you know, it in that fit in this area. Different things happen to your body as you as you treated certain ways over life. But what are the things Ive always been able to do is have a like this weird challenge way out there so so I would get on my bike and go hundred, twenty miles and then get ready for it, but I would push myself Beyond his limits and Ive always done that. So, recently, when this pandemic can, I see if I can get in? So I would run and I do stupid things like I run six miles in hundred degree, North Carolina 3 in the afternoon stuff just to make sure Im tough enough. Hardest time. You can system what Im learning from Atomic habits was James Clear book. Right? Book is you get a system and you dont have to worry about goals anymore. So I got to create a couple systems when this thing went down, one one system was if I got up and went into another room, I had a job down. Do push-ups. So going to stay in the same room. My goodness. And that turned into 15 to 20 to 25 and then I thought, who are now for our push-up Challenge and the winner was 2,100, one of my seniors this year. Second place, was so he went 1500 and then I ended up with 13 and up in third place, but its just the whole concept of how much can you do and what do you want to keep doing to? Make sure youre keeping yourself right? So I always have to end. Its just part of my life. I was at the extreme in whatever Im doing. Its got to be extreme. So yeah, Im doing a lot of push-ups. Till that system is turned into now, just a hundred, I got to do a hundred, whatever time today, whatever time you like before I hit the bed, Im at least a hundred, sometimes I get 200, 300 or kind of pain and then and then I do stretching constructions, way more important my age now. So I do Stretching them, hydration probably the most important to get through. I still run a low back injury right now. So itll be another few weeks. So I can only go about two or three with the without stopping. But Ill walk, I can still walk. The ten thousand I got to get 10000 at least which isnt too hard if youre not lazy and get 10,000 have a feeling. Youd still hang hang really well with us in in our fitness challenge. What you were saying, a lot of us may be kind of part of our background and kind of how we started working out together that we got to that point where like, man, I just want to do something I want to have some competition. Again, I want to get in a little bit better shape and our kind of competition each year and it started off with just like a weight loss challenge and maybe did that two or three years and then this past year were like, lets lets everybody say one thing. You want to kind of get better at and that That answer was a weight loss challenge for them. We threw in bench press and pull ups in that live in deadlift than and kind of devolved Stuart from mad that everybody wanted to get better in a certain area. Why dont we all push each other? Why dont we test each other? And all those areas, were about 12 categories right now. The Mastermind this year behind. It never got like 12 categories. I think we got 12 participants so far. 3030 ammunition your brother want in there in the beginning and then test out at the end. So its kind of percent Improvement Off Of, You Know, What You Did in the beginning. And there was this year we threw into bonus categories so they try to drink a gallon of water a day. No alcohol. And then pick a skill. If you can get better at that has to be like something that you cant do. So learn the skills learned that. Yeah, yeah. When you reach them often times, youre done. Therefore, youre done and then a slip away. So when I started this systems thing, its help me read books. Its helping me, youre just helping so many parts. So I might do like got a text one friend today to encourage him or, you know, something like that were just kind of said it into your system and then you just dont have to worry about it cuz its what you do Yar. We did it. Were doing the weight loss thing. The guys, against the girls with the, with the wives here, and I actually, I actually did the wrestling thing I ballooned up on purpose. All you can eat buffet and then weigh in there for the weekend. We brought the scale to a TGI Fridays and did all you can eat appetizers and then weighed that the last time cuz thats near thats been huge for me in the past. And when the pandemic started, I decided I wanted to try a hundred hundred push-ups and 30-day hundred push-ups everyday for 30 days and so I started it and then I got the 30 days Im like, yeah, why would I stop? So I kept going, and I actually made it to 180 days hundred push-ups a day, and I finally stopped that. But for this, for this challenge, I decided to put together a checklist. So this is my habits app. So, it just has a bunch of a bunch of things. Im doing a hundred, push-ups 75 air squats. 50 sit-ups 25 Pull Ups 3 by 3, heavy bench at devotional a gallon of water and no alcohol. So Id like to be able to check things off and I think thats Thats something that a lot of guys can probably relate to is it? If you have, if you have a goal, if you have something that you can say, yeah, I did that. So you can put a checkmark next to it like that. Like the 180 days I actually go by coach Pi / 180 on some of the stuff that I do with the life coaching cuz I look at the 180th, a turnaround kind of thing, but it helped me immensely, which was, which was a nice but yeah. So I ended up at the end of the last competition, I was at 2:45 max bench and right now I just hit 285 like glass times a week, but yeah, so yeah, its quite a bit on the bench. I can do, I can do 50 and just two sets of 50 and be done yet. So the other day I was I was just Jogging running down the street and Im like, thats a pretty good right now. So I just drop down and I did a hundred 483. Yeah, I do have a little bit of a rash. Yeah, thats awesome. Lssi love. I just love a challenge and I was like this, can I do that? Yeah, I could do that. It sounds like youre doing like a little competition. Right now I do for us working out together. His always help. So do you do work out with anyone else? It sounds like you might even get kind of together with your family or even your kids or I dont work out. Ive never had a workout partner. Im off. Turn on my own, and Im looking like, who doesnt the best? I got to beat that guy by this amount of time. So I play these mental games all the time, like, I could beat you in, that would be my wife. So Im really alone Ranger and kind of working out just because I dont know why that is will do challenges, but not necessarily together all the time, you know, they always go to the gym so theyre always doing and theyre doing a lot more than I can do. So that those you see here, Dave, youre obviously very motivated person just in your core. You can see it, you know, coming out of you. And I think all four of us, maybe maybe Ryans a little bit on the other side, but we, we need that accountability for sure, because we just, I dont know. I feel like everybodys got their own gifts. If we werent wrestlers to have fun, have a good time, you know, I havent guys that are going through life together and saying accountable and doing that, but yeah, I hear you man. Its definitely the people that they dont need that, they dont fit actually, I mean do better when theyre by themselves when they move down here as a teacher. And he was from Lake, Orion, Michigan. And I from Sterling Heights, and theyre in the same league as we are near the 25, year-old new teacher, and we got to know each other. And so then about a week later, Im out at the park and park, has a circular two and a half mile run. Im out there and I see him and hes going the opposite direction. As soon as I passed. My said he is not getting around here. Anyway, you can find a challenge yourself. Tell us maybe a little bit about your, your teaching journey and coaching Journey than Lake City been from Michigan, Tommy in Ohio. Now, North Carolina, come walking through a little bit of that journey. And, and I, and how you got to kind of where you are now. Like, gifted like my wifes a teacher, shes a gifted teacher. My sons actually, gifted teacher. Im really more. More of that exhorter motivator. I can take information, and I really loved history, which made it easy. But I think Im really a coach at heart. And the way that I deliver and kind of bring bring forth the fly. Start at VCA. I just walked in. I was supposed to go to California and Chicago, try to get jobs and their cities there somewhere there and just kind of walked in and they said, hey you want to get up? You want your hired because I was a male Elementary Christian School, teacher in their system, So I started my journey there and it was it was fantastic. And one of the ways they made up for earlier and was, is too to help the income. I mean, it was less than ten thousand a year so to help the income-based set up at your mirror program for me. So I could do any real snow is really, I kind of coach in there, but I fell in love with basketball because I like the idea of stopping the opponent, right? Everybody, always likes to score and I always thought, you know what, Im going to stop you from doing what you want to do the basketball thing after a few years and I was so I got was coach with did it, who is a great coach and just everyday for like 4 or 5 hours. We would all go as long as you let me and he really taught me a whole bunch of things. We played a lot together, and he talked to that just the way that he plays a very, very, very good player. And so then I started doing the middle school and then moved up to JV and varsity and the role and I am at Adventure, which was super fun to kind of just get me know, when you get up into the varsity around your into a program. Now, you got other coaches that youre influencing and then youre influencing the whole system again and then you build on things. I really enjoyed that part of the mystery. So is a lot of, you know, Empire is growing and developing the wife people failed and why they succeeded in our lives are similar to those things. So thats always been stopped. Whatever you want to do my old assistant, my assistant coach coach, guess he would always say to me, whose mom do we want to disappoint tonight? Cuz we would always take the best score in the other team. Shut him down with Dave. Nice. Kind of started coaching at the high school, local high school here which was completely different mean. I went from a division 3 Private Christian School 2A, what division? 1 Division, 1 inner city, school, public school was a completely different group right now, but I found the same things occur. You you develop people, you challenge them. And you say, you know, his mom, were going to disappoint tonight, you know, its presented if you will, so I got it. And then, when I move down to down here, I got a chance to number one draft picks for Greg, did you disappoint their moms? At halftime that was then we were we were there was the great spirit this again it was okay how we going to do this cuz I had one kid who played college ball and amazing that we as a group is itching ask about working out with people. I was like try to build teams going to like to work out by myself. I love to build teams and say, this is what were going to do together. This is how it can happen. If everybody puts their self aside, put the team first, is how it works and that it works. I mean basketball, that youre almost got back to the same to you in the, in the state tournament. So that would have been, that would have been awesome. So every time I get a team, and I was looking at this earlier, Ive had 14 What football won baseball, 1 wrestling in one basketball to basketball, where Ive been in the final eight in four different sports in high school. Do you have to have to win either the district or sectional to get to those spots? So so yeah, Ive got a few guys in the pros. I dont know if youre not in the same height as for the Colts and the Jets, and then you just what are things I learned when you get coach, you want good players? Thats the best part. Out with Najee name for a little bit, then went over to the Browns Stadium to watch them play this year and I was able to talk to Braxton Berrios for about an hour on the phone, just talking to him about his life. Whats going on? Those are the things because theyre in special spot but then right before we got one of my athletes from the high school, who was at the middle school and talk to him about, you know, what this year looks like for him and how hes looking forward to to this season. So I think its important to make a difference. If youre going to make a difference, Let that its a little bit on kind of what I realized about. My coach has just been growing up and playing sports and how much of an impact they had on my life. But youve got a huge platform with the kids that youre with it. Hit me when like one of my former teammates passed away. And I remember being at the funeral and two coaches at our football coaching, lacrosse coach, both got up and spoke. I thought it just clicked for me and like yeah its a lot more. Its just its a lot its about a lot more than competition about a lot more than than that when you got a window into their lives to give it in but you know its at the npac them and then you know, when when personal things happen what time is it turn to the coach? So I Im sure you have that type of, can you talk a little bit about guess that responsibility and just how you been able to shape lives in that way or just be there? Yeah, I think I see the picture behind me. Thats from, thats one of my athletes. That was when he was in Middle School, he actually sent that to me, this Fathers Day and and just thanked me for a lot things that that I was able to be in his life and I do I do I think its so different parts of this. So when youre out of cdca, your cleaning different things there and you actually training different things because a lot of times, those, those young people are coming with a platform and part of a on already connected life and theyre ready to kind of grow spiritually or should be, you know, its so so like Ill use. Dave, niece has a great example, and Jeremy coffee. Those are two guys that literally they were to get up in the morning everyday coming summer workout and I remember, Joe coffee saying later, you spent more time with my son in the last three years than I did. And what that you realized? Coaching is, you know, they get up in the morning with me, at 6, they go to 7:30, they go to school, then it comes me to practice till 6. Then they go home and go to bed in 2 hours. Youre literally spending more time and theyre with their family. So, its really good to know that thats happening. But also come, what comes with? That is a grave responsibility responsibility to get never been in any trouble at all. And I remember walking up to him and say, hey, David, how you doing? You said, you drank everything now coach, any problem with print friends, family know, coach and five years later, he called me, we were staying connected, but he said, youre the only person in my life who ever asked me. If I was okay, everybody just thought I was cuz I was the 4.0 good athlete. Everything went well. So and we went through a ton of stuff I went through Whats the weather in the family and friends and things in North Carolina, where there was a lot less fortunate situations. And there was a different way to connect someone, since Ive been to a few of the kids houses and done things, but in in Durham, I would be taking kids home. And its a lot of my Varsity players, they all didnt drive, I would be taking them home and where I would be taking them. Home was very dangerous, dangerous lake police officer saying, dont go by yourself, but I never even hesitated because when my player said, I need a ride home, I never hesitated. But I think going to a home is a different thing in the inner city than it is. You know it may be a family thing to say because what youre doing is that youre saying youre willing to go. There and be part of their family, where you dont have to, you know, most of time schools to start. You have practice and you go. So just go into the neighborhoods there to create a different element for me. And then I also noticed it created at a real positive thing. You know, people are like, why are you in our neighborhood and something my players home and then then you become part of the community and then do it differently in different contexts. I think recognizing that was really important. I had to be wise enough to know. You know, if I never was afraid, it was a challenge is like a, theres nobody going to stop me from going here. Because this is what I need to use that, you know, and they were very many strange, things are happening in curious, things that happened in some of this rain just wanted a general, I had a couple restaurants in Middle School. One of the name was General, Muller, how was it right name, right? General never lost. And his buddy guy, that was the only two-time District Champion. So were driving by and theres literally a guy shot laying on the ground bleeding. As were driving to his house, which is five houses away from this guy asking him. Do you know him? Because if he doesnt know him and I dont know him, I dont know if hes a good guy or bad guy, dont even know he was in the neighborhood so he said go down know him so I went down and drop them off. Ask the brothers do they know they didnt know come to find out. He was the one robbing somebody to be honest but if youre not afraid to go in those places because thats where youre called, do those people become your those kids now will do anything for me and vice versa. David nice, right? So same thing, different contacts, you know, because youre willing to give yourself way to the situation. So, great day. Nice story with another story on my own, my dog, Sarah right now. My daughter and my oldest is over there. He walked up to me I got your back and you dont ever hear Too Many people say it to you and your wife put a fourteen-year-old, kid saying that Ive done a lot of ss which is in school suspension and I intentionally wanted to be a nice as teacher because I thought you give me 8 hours with a kid and three days. So there was this one young man, his name was Toronto, get his last name was in been with me two years on and off and I says it had some real challenges in life but you and I were very close and one day they brought us and I was down in the basement. So the they put us in the basement of the school that year cuz I assess So at this time, the class next to us went to lunch, there was nobody else there and the admin one of the admins brought these two guys down. Now, usually got to know everybody and I knew who was who, and what was, what, whats the beginning of the school year? And I dont know, these cats at least you guys come in and they were intimidating a teacher. So they are getting in trouble for that. But I knew right away, these were regular high school kids. These are kids that that had been high school, they were just Rascals. So they came in and I remember my point, I said, you sit, here you sit there and then I walked back to my seat and when I sat down, they both just stood up and want him. Put his hand on the rail. Like So I remember sitting looking at him and I and I just stood up and this is where it gets tricky, cuz you dont really know whats going to happen to this money to go. So I washed and its pretty thin room. So I watched straight back and Im looking at him as Im walking. And I realize who this guy is in charge, this movie was a chance to walk, right through him. And then he sat down and I turned to him and I said, dont make that mistake again. And I turn around and walk back and the kid that was in there throm. He said, I got you coach, I knew it was going to be 212. I got your back stuff. That happens when your and Ive been to his house and drop them off at home and then built a relationship. When you build relationships with people. Sometimes youre the only person they have relations with and theyre willing to do anything for you. And so, I just found over time when you start You know, if you know, this is kind of weird but my oldest students are 52. So Ive got grandparents do this, right? And then Ive got kids now or still 1314. So overtime you just build relationships and you recognize how important it is and and they dont always need you for, you know, a lot of times, its great stuff come to my wedding. Im getting married or, I know having kids and now Ive had kids call and say, is it okay, if I name my son, this cuz your son has this name and so is really amazing what happens. But again, its about its really about how much you want to give cuz itll come back. And if it turns out pretty good, Its cool to hear like how? Like your joy and enthusiasm is pretty infectious. Like youre just hearing the stories and how you build those relationships with the kids, and its not about the game, its not about the sport, its not, I mean it is to some degree, but what your building is much deeper than that, its a relationship with those kids that you can speak into. And Im just saying, its awesome to hear and its easy to see that. That is your drive. That is your your focus is building those relationships. And yeah, thats something that I think all of us can take some tips if its not something that comes natural to me necessarily. So it its its cool to see what youre doing and kind of how youre doing it. So I just want to tell you, its its its inspiring. Rocori often, Andrew. I do. Yeah. This is one of my favorite stories. Is one of my basketball players back in the day, right? Corys all mad cuz cuz he wanted to go to public school and played basketball in life and he didnt want to do what hes supposed to do, and he gets up and he walks out of the building and hes going to go home now. If he does, this is going to get expelled and some other things that would kind of reviews is really struggling in life. At this point, theres a great ending calls me up in my room. Say Corey just left the building. So now Im like, I need to stop him from leaving. I dont care if he plays Best Buy, dont want to get expelled from school. They literally go downstairs. And I walk out the, where the auditorium was at CTCA and I have a piece of paper in my hand and I literally said, God tell me which way to go cuz I dont know where he is. If I go this way, he drives a way that way, if I go to the piece of paper. Out of my hand and I know it sounds corny, but hes like, I dont know. I dont want to be here in a long story short. He went through a process of leaving CV, stay for about 2 weeks, went to nordonia realize, this is crazy town and reply for me in and doing well, and in pretty close. So that he joins the career there and every 3 years or so. Corey comes and visits me or calls me or we connect connect to connect it on and off, just kind of threw the stink times. He would, he would know call and get ahold of me while Im in Detroit now. Coming home and I got to fly to Riley and all the flights are. Its the storm where the University of Michigan team, almost slid off the Runway. If you have enough for you back, Im in the airport. This is now we were talking about, you know, three years ago I think from this point from now. So Im in Detroit. Im flying to Washington DC cuz you cant get the rally. I get to DC every flight at least he is gone. So now Im in the airport, Im literally in the airport by myself, everyone around the flights, theyre all gone, Im by myself and Im like who do I know Corey, I think hes back in DC so I call Corey. The number is the new watch commanders like, no Corey is now over here, and I dont have his number, so I had to call his wife. Jody on Facebook. She has her phone on her Facebook app, Hes on his way. So literally why were talk and he jumps up, gets to the airport. Will the storm to get you. And I bet on the couch, you know we get up in the morning with each man. This is awesome. Oh, so much fun. Just hang out with his family. Is that you home? Im driving you back to Brown. So we literally hop in the car and he tries me for hours and then he drives back for us cuz he had to be back by like 5 or 6. So I asked him on the way I said, whats up? And he said that, I really wanted to just drive with you because I want to know Im doing. Okay. Is that is just as a person and things are going, okay? And he said, you know, all those times I came and visit with my kids deploying and I wanted to make sure I was doing things right? And so sometimes people are late like, youre always bigger than, you know, your small anything, but youre in a place that and if you lie Yourself open, people are going to come to you and they want to know that theyre okay. And a lot of times we dont recognize it and theres a lot of people in our lives there, looking at it so we dont recognize. But I was able to pay attention that day and it was just great. We talked for four straight hours. No. Dropped off love. You course drive back and it its its just another example of why dont you guys do, but when when Obama was in office in the pope came, Cory was on the front lawn of the White House that is his position so he has moved himself up into think. Hes an assistant general commander of the entire world. We all go through that stuff and say I was just ignore example of am, just kind of recognizing those things in my own life and then, you know, maybe just keep staying open to that for others, you know? Tell me how thats I mean were trying a lot of these experiences that youre having with people that are theyre going Beyond just being their coach at a certain point in time talk to me a little bit of the life coach that youre doing now and could Pi / 180 kind of out of that evolve at this point. Once I started realizing that Im getting up to wear probably 3 years from now, I can retire, right? Something you dont want to do this, life coaching thing became a job I ever. So, I have a friend whos my mentor, who was one of my first year, I taught Steve desutter was my mentor and he was one of the dad. He has for his five kids got to know him really well, and we went to Houston on a basketball trip with my son and he lives in Houston, so wouldnt visited him. And he kind of gave me the street to Cana build off of. Heres your heres where your life is, just where you are right now and what do you want in two years? What he wanted, three years we want to 5:10. So I kind of just said, heres what I want to do and I want to be speaking. Maybe motivational speaker, maybe college teacher in this kind of thing, but as you then do those things and masters degrees or certificates whatever you do, you find different things? That kind of fit you next. In the life coaching thing came up at Liberty. So I decided I was going to just get a life coaching degree because I had a counseling background in the sense of all the things that I have done, I didnt text you, I had a psych consult undergrad degree, but it was, but I was doing well, counseling things without being a counselor. So, this was in the coolest part about life coaching is if you dont know the best way of anybody, ask you, youre a counselor. If youre talking about what happened, your life coach, if youre talk about whats going to happen, if you have to go back and thats not life coaching and its okay if you have to be a little bit but you dont spend your time there cuz I took classes there and then I ended up in Greece. The last class we took in Greece. So is that your you got to go there and there was a bible college right there in Aspen So we hung around Athens and stuff and then they actually gave us two days of R&R and most of the people are young. There were two a couple young there, only three guys in the program like 37, ladies and three guys. And the two guys were young so they were going to go do something else on this weekend. I said, hey Im just going to take off. So I literally by myself went to the island of Mykonos if I was by myself on the way there. Met a guy who said the first time I met a guy at the restaurant who kind of let me know what was going on the islands and all the different things to do. So I had to go cliff jumping. I ended up doing that by myself. Jumped off like this, 40 foot cliff into water with, I have no idea how deep the water with had a guy kayak by, and Im like, Youre going to die. Im going back. So he left me there to walk back together, text back, and I didnt have my phone with me cuz I left it at the restaurant. So I have to get to their, how about a boat, which is one of those super jet boats, no ones that big time to 1. So its going like, 300 miles an hour. I dont know why I asked the guy. Hey, how do you know, how do you get yourself around the island? So I got a four-wheeler by myself pop, instead of running around with all these crazy beaches, and thought this place is crazy. I dont know if you know but because he is the party capital of the world. Finally, I went back got a hotel. When you go for hotels in Mykonos, I came in to say I need a hotel for one, she said, how many I said just wants to know how many other people could. What you do is you get it for 1, bring 17in, right? Im getting the one for me and then they flip the room gave me a different one and so I went on the back early in the morning, the guy next to me was the fiction writer who did murder mysteries about the island. So he literally told me anywhere to go. So I ended up going to a private beach there but I ended up going to. Theres a point to this story. This cross was at the top of this was really a mountain to suck. His enormous rock, at least three hundred feet high, write this enormous Rock sound, like Im going to go up and touch that thing, that was my goal. Right side goes through a it was a monastery and then you had to go low tide high tide. You had to go through the water and then there was a stairwell and there was a little house and then you need to go round the Rock and there was another house and then you can go up from their climb up and then you can get the rock. So I did finally get up there and it was like one of those moments in my life that Ill never forget. I did White Knuckle a little bit cuz I touch the touch the cross and I was video. I videotaped it. So I thought you know, if I die maybe hell find the phone, right? So I videotaped it and Im just hanging on to this rock right thinking. How am I going to get myself back? Is a wind is, and its sheer. So if I fall, Im going straight down, you know, I got done with myself. Econo, be free. And can I get loose? But what it also was it was a refreshing time. It was like a time to get yourself back together, but thats where I ended up. Getting my masters from and then once I got that, I start thinking about what that might look like. And my, you know, I didnt even at first someone found out about it cuz I didnt put myself out there at all. But one of my former students found out about it. He got into a crazy situation. We flipped his car six times run away from the police so they need to have a counselor before he could get back into court. So I had to end up being that for him. Thats where my first client wasnt, hes in law school. Now doing great which is not always might not because of me but hes looking forward. Japanese looking forward instead of back. It really started getting the athlete starting to think about their future what they want to do. What is my next door neighbor? So you dont get in with him and then really start looking at clients and I started putting some of that stuff out on Facebook as you saw that working with and most of the people Im working with have had a former relationship. So they were coming back realizing that you know that was important to me. It still is kind of been great you know cuz thats thats been fun to do so. Yeah. So now its just a matter of deciding I got to decide whether Because if I go just full-time life coaching, have you done teaching and coaching kids and I dont not ready to do that yet, some kind of have a few clients. Right now. Im just working that but it its its a good two hours to get prepared for each client and then get your at what, it certification for Life, any licensure. So you can be you can just say your life coach in your life coach, but I want something else to do some writing in some of these things. I wanted to have some and I wanted to learn. It was good, it was really good because the spiritual side of of You know, where it where things went really was important. That I like the background from from Liberty, Maxwell has a great way to go John mcgiver doing gel Maxwell stuff that, you know, they had to shut it all down cuz I was a lot cheaper for sure, cuz the masters class has 32 credits. Almost counseling consoling to give me a little more effort than that. Im attending to link to that to the code Pi. / 180 s, just me talking, Facebook, A good treat for thats thats that natural continuation of the Yale. The coaching being involved in peoples lives, sharing that passion. Watching at the same time in the kids lives are way more important than the sport. Wrestling is great because you really individual, so you can basically like this down, there are good to go, you know? So Its fun to do, thats for sure. Is we going to wrap up here and what time we could probably go on and and hear a lot more stories, maybe he just want to leave us with yamini any books. You recommend anything anything like that to you. You want to leave us with and he told us a few things here. We can link to as well. Get that real quick. If I could get that quick that, yeah, cuz that you asked about being married healthy marriage, family, and being a father was in you guys all have kids at a great age of this? Whats a healthy marriage like honey what it? What do I do? What do I tell him that she was great. In the NFL, what is a great way to put it? Cuz the first thing she said, was we got married. That was the answer. Like, were healthy because we got there. That was our commitment to up with the you know what, faith journey together, all that, but really its its about being each others biggest fan and his fathers. There is a, Theres an opportunity for you guys to make sure you never take an opportunity to take that. Jab shot at your wife. Would ever the kids around. Then theres always moments when youre right? And and theres moments where you can take advantage of things, always honor your wife more than anything else and you will find out that your kids will They will cherish them forever. Itll be more than anything and you never allow your children ever, dishonor their mom, or your wife. And my dad was really good at that. This is your mom. She my wife and you never disrespect her. And we learned at a very young age and it was really, really beneficial. And then just, you know why I thought about You know, when you were really what you guys are doing right now is your is your building a legacy with your kids? And and so with my own kids, I never said, here, do this? Do this? Do this. I was always an example of it. I would tell them things to do out of it. I always had Bible studies at our house, with their buddies and and their buddies would have trouble have been situations in your life and I showed love and care and so they watch you now just what you do with them, but they watch how you interact with others and thats what they absorbed absorbed. So they see love joy, peace and patience and kindness and goodness gentleness. Theres no chaos. It doesnt matter whats going on. If you love them, theyre all good. And even when you do it wrong, Theyre going to forgive that, they dont remember that stuff, you know, how to, I think it was about five years ago, I took Cody signs and it was really tough and I made a mistake and I should have done that for years. I have it on my heart. He said, dad that was the best time I ever had your memory of it and freshen of what we think we are, his parents isnt, what are kids, who youre, youre the hero and you always will be and youre going to disappoint yourself, but you very seldom because their resiliency is great. God gave them to us, you know? And so training them up in the way they should go. Is your recognizing their gifts and talents in the keeps burning them on. You cant go wrong if they watch that all the time, you know. So Ill do my best. Shot of that. Thats fantastic. I think he has all of us. His dads in the, in the thick of it. So, to speak right now, like your kids are young and theyre still. I like theres like we dont we dont know where theyre going to be. Like in 10 years, Im still at like theyre still developing and becoming the person that they are going to be set. Thats great advice and thats what we talked about that a lot just encouraging our kids being there for them setting a good example and Im setting a good example in our marriage and then also in our our work lifewave, interact with friends, all those things. I made you do already but the four of them just the four men and bring the kids in and you could do one with just the boys. A moment just goes and then you could do both. But something where theyre seeing you guys interact and they do when your friends maybe do a specific Bible study or you do something to wear your engagement. Pattersons really good at setting up how to do something like that, with your kids, a lot of stuff up that, but its just, its just getting them to see who Jesus is and all that we do and in the mistake in the ways that they learn how to forget to, its not about that. Its its about growing. Just keep going. And you keep letting them know that, that as long as they know theyre loved, you guys are going to be great to keep honoring God. Right now its right that we talked about that before couple times. I mean cuz I think we we all fall short in some of those areas, you know, whether it be honored Your wife above all else at certain points in being calm amidst. If theres chaos, where I think we all are impatient. I dont know. Matt, maybe youre the most patient out of a car. Not saying that, but I think we all agree that no matter what even if you make a mistake. I mean, when you do make mistake too, Do set it set the pride, aside, and apologize to them, and show them like a dad that shouldnt have done that and you can always go back as well. We all know, were going to make mistakes, or not going to be not going to be the perfect fathers or husbands. So as long as we keep keep seeking God and theyre willing to to be humble. Then hopefully, well, well be okay and well be okay and Ill cuz that I sometimes get a fall too much into the you know how I Faith get that guys going to raise these kids. The right way in hell, I know whatever they are they are but it mean it is on us to own that like God has put us here for a reason to let you know to be to make that impact. So you know, I cant cop out on that which is really like those are yours are definitely mine. You got to say friends for life when you want. When I get to those preteen years, when you want them to know something just have the other guy say it. Thats right. My kids what I wanted them to know cuz they would be off now from you. Yeah. Thats awesome. Thats a great tip. I think you know a little bit just so you know it doesnt work with the wiser. Well Dave this is been fantastic. Thank you so much for a for being on the podcast. Ive loved it. Loved hearing the stories in his great. Just real person is for us to reconnect. Again. Ive enjoyed that a lot but thanks for being on, has been awesome. Yeah, absolutely. Like we got a lot a lot of good tips. Ya got a great perspective. I got a life coaching session out of this is awesome. I will give you if you guys want to Well, I asked you was off when Ill show you a good life coaching introduction. If youre really interested, let me be part of this. It means a lot for me. Yeah, well have to continue this conversation cuz I think theres a lot more that we can continue talking about the middle heavy on again, fairly soon. I appreciate that. Guys a lot. Glad you could join us for another core for Life podcast. If you like what youre hearing, please share this with your friends and follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter at core for life or check out the website core for life.com. Thats core four. Life.com to the next Thursday for another brand new episode. Google for Life, acidic on for life.

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